I am clearly a freak of nature. I love going to the dentist. When my parents hear I had a dentist appointment they say “Oh, that’s great! Have fun!”. Yeah, I’m that person. Don’t hate me yet though- I spend A LOT of time at the dentist. While I am a big fan of the floss, toothpaste makes me gag so I brush as quickly as possible to just be DONE. In my maturity (i.e. past five years) I have taken my dental hygiene much more seriously, using mouthwashes, and supersonic tooth scrubbers that sound like the Space Shuttle taking off. Now it’s mostly repair work- replacing old fillings, painting on that goo for sensitive teeth, and the like. Really, it’s like me booking a 45 minute coffee date with some of my favorite ladies! Think about it- you arrive in the office and are greeted by name, and get to chat about caramel apples, or shopping, or the delight that is Wegmans. Dream up ideas for layered candy apples (white chocolate, caramel, and pretzels anyone? YES PLEASE- have to keep the dentist in business!) and usually get some other patients into the discussion. Then I get to go back and lay in this super cushy chair that moves for me, so I have to use NO MUSCLES WHATSOEVER. I am tempted to put one in the living room, but needless to say, dear husband is not such a fan of the dentist and would probably run screaming the instant he saw it. Then we talk about fashion, cosmetics, the evils of exercise, men, dogs, real estate, television, anything. Episodes of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” come up frequently, along with shoes and the best doctors in Boston. All this while drilling and stuff happen in my mouth. After more than ten years with the same dentist, I have totally mastered the open mouthed mumbo jumbo, and we can actually have a two sided conversation! Really, it’s a lovely and relaxing break from the day. I wish everyone enjoyed dental visits as much as this kid!
Which is good, because I have to go back next week, because all those caramel apples gave me a cavity.
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