Tuesday, July 21, 2020

Now, I SPEAK.

This year has been an enormous bucket of crazy- from horrific fires in Australia, to the COVID-19 happening abroad- to the realization that it's here, in the "grand" ol' USA as well. Schools closed. Businesses closed. Teachers shifted to remote learning literally overnight- districts sharing out technology- providing meals- creating new ways to serve students on IEP's. Was it perfect? Of course not. It was a total hot mess. Parents were scrambling trying to manage their Zoom schedules and those of their children. And you know what? My kids, all of their friends, and their teachers and school staff, are still alive.

Teachers were lauded as "heroes". There were hundreds, if not thousands, of videos made celebrating what teachers do on a daily basis and praying for a vaccine so kids could go back to school. Well, we don't have that yet. And now, a lot of what I see on social media is that teachers are "whiny" about a return to teaching in the fall. It will be fine, they say. Young kids don't spread it as much. Oh, whoops, well that's if they keep masks on- and SCHOOLS HAVE BEEN CLOSED.  Have you every worked with kindergarteners? No? Ok then. Now, there is concrete evidence that intermediate and high school aged children can spread COVID-19 just like adults. If we are being realistic, those kiddos do NOT have all of their neurons firing yet- they truly don't get the cause/effect principle for lasting impact- just like with teen pregnancy or the spread of STI's.

During a five and a half hour school committee meeting in Worcester, a parent, William Gates, said "I will not lay my children down at the altar of economic recovery".  He speaks the truth.

Now, who will speak up for teachers? Our safety should not be sacrificed either.



Thursday, September 5, 2019

Bedtime Routines, Renegade Style

Most moms think of bedtime routines and visions of snuggling, nursing, tubbies, and lavender likely pop up. It's been the same for me too- but now I am fully in the "oh my goodness the kids are old" phase. There are still showers to be had, books to be read, and lots of hugs. The boobs are all mine though- but after twelve "I'm thirsty!" statements I kind of miss the days when a boob would suffice. Now there is much more rigamarole to it.

AND a lot of WHY THE AREN'T YOU TIRED! (me)

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAD HOMEWORK? (me)

NO, I WILL NOT RUN THE WASHING MACHINE FOR ONE SHIRT! (me)

I'M BOOOOOOOOOORED. (J)

MY FRIENDS ON ROBLOX AREN'T IN BED! (M)

WHY IS M STILL USING HIS CHROME BOOK TO PLAY ROBLOX? (J)

I have for a long time been incredibly strict with bedtime. I leave early for work, and our beloved A feeds the boys, makes sure bags are packed, double checks who is packing lunch or buying. Even so, they've needed to be awake with me, have some snuggles and the like before I head out to teach. I need some time after they are asleep to accomplish work things, take a moment to breathe, and craft a bit.

Well, things have changed. I will have a ten year old in about two weeks, and an eight year old two months later. They are NOT having this 7:30 bedtime anymore. I still have all the things to do, like laundry, dishes, cleaning in general AND lesson planning, grading, and reaching out to students' families. That will NEVER change. I will always need some quiet time to myself, to protect my sanity.

What has changed? Their willingness to conform to my plans. The fact that they truly don't need to get up so early anymore- it's ok in their world if I leave for work before they are awake- and my absolute need to accomplish things HASN'T.

Bedtime now? It's the new normal. Almost like a tuck and roll- with extra snuggles and discussion about their days- but when I shut their doors? It's with the mantra of "they will fall asleep eventually as long as they don't get out of bed it will be fine"!

I still sit at the foot of the stairs and listen for any discord, or nightmares- anything that REALLY needs my attention. Other than that? I'm hands off. A new chapter for me.

Besides, they will fall asleep eventually, right? RIGHT?


Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Self-Care

Self-care is so important- that might not be a term you're accustomed to, but we use it a lot in my work. It means taking time to take care of YOU- your body, your emotions, your spirit. It's different for every human. For some, it may be going to church, or going for a run, or shopping. We take so much time to encourage our students to engage in self-care- and yet, for many of us adults, we let it slide.

If you're a mom, it's really an area that we push to the side- our focus is so much on our kids and spouse. Sports, homework, laundry, packing lunches. Kisses, and ferrying kids this way and that.

For single moms, it's even more pushed down on the priority list. When kiddos might be with our ex partners- we're grocery shopping, cleaning, doing laundry- because when the kiddos are with us we're very focused on meeting their needs and getting extra love in. It's the few minutes of quiet to listen to a podcast, or catch up on Salvage Dogs, or Grey's Anatomy.

And yet, it needs to move up the list. I've been a cranky witch for the last two weeks with DST- my oldest is struggling with sleep, work has been a bit wonky pants. It's been stressful with a capital S.
So I went all renegade and decided I needed a week of self care.

With me, that looked like making dinners that I enjoyed, and weren't necessarily kid friendly- I mean, I have cereal. They aren't going to starve.

Overlooking the fact that my kitchen floor desperately needs a good "hands and knees" scrub.

Having the groceries delivered even though I am perfectly capable of going to the market with the boys (and who am I kidding- this is a VERY regular part of my self care)

Finding a hair stylist that comes to my house, colors my hair, colors M's hair, and does cuts for us all. (FINE that was last week!)

Getting a fantastic massage (again, by someone that came to my house) that left me feeling freaking amazing. Like a gladiator- my neck doesn't hurt, my jaw is loosey goosey again (I'm a grinder), and my IT band got the release it was so desperately seeking.

Letting go of my perceptions of packed lunches and just making sandwiches for each kid.

Making reservations to have dinner with a friend, sans children.

Whatever your self care is, get on it. You need it, mama. And if you say you don't, you probably need it, more than you know.



Monday, March 4, 2019

Snow Days and Cleaning? Or is that wheezing?

I love me a snow day! We got a good ten inches of true snowball snow overnight so therefore it's our first snow day of the 18/19 school year! AND they called it last night so there was a general woo-hoo atmosphere in our house. The kids played outside for three hours (there are so many Nerf darts in the snow and on the roof!).


They were in their glory!!! I took advantage of the quiet inside to do some meal prep. Roasted corn and jalapeno grits, oven roasted squash, chicken and apple sausage, and packaged up the turkey lasagna I made Saturday. 
So a damn good start to the day. I went to get toilet paper from the cabinets in the laundry room and found a bottle of Clorox Clean Up (but not the kind with bleach- I can't be anywhere near bleach after the chemical airway burns I dealt with last winter- all because I wanted clean grout on the kitchen floor!!!!). 

OK, so I still have the kids outside making snowmen and then ninja chopping them down, repeat. FABULOUS opportunity to clean the first floor bathroom, which gets kind of grody because two boys, bad aim, you can just imagine the carnage in there. 

I'm pretty damn crunchy when it comes to cleaning supplies because ANYTHING with fabricated fragrance (including Mrs. Meyers and Method) triggers wheezing in me, swelling in J's sinus/airway/ears and just pretty much sucks all around. Other than the Seda France Japanese Quince- the signature scent of the Virginia Hotel which is my favorite place in Cape May. That is fine for us, but whoah, it's expensive!!! When I die I better be embalmed with the scented room oil. Legit, slather it all over me.  I love for my house to smell yummy and with Petey that's a necessity- I mean, he smells like dog. I adore the Revive fabric refresher from Melaleuca (and yes I know the EWG doesn't like their products because they don't give up their proprietary "recipe"- but I have researched every single damn ingredient and they're safe as shit. I even spritz the dog with it occasionally) so my house smells like Tahiti (Sea Salt and Vanilla, in case you want to recreate that heavenly scent)!

But I found that bottle of Clorox. The kids were outside, the dog was outside, I opened the window in the bathroom. And I did two sprays on the toilet. Not an excessive amount, by any means. It took about three seconds for me to realize I had made a horrible mistake. Cue burning eyes and wheezing. I hightailed it out of that bathroom so fast I don't think my feet hit the floor. Yeah, that wasn't pretty. 

Put a scarf on, went in, wiped it up, and took all the paper towels with it on it to the OUTSIDE bin. ALL the way down at the curb. I wanted it OUT OUT OUT. 

Clearly, that's the last time I will every make that mistake! I am so glad the boys were outside and I could open doors and windows and air everything out before they came back in. 

Re-approached the bathroom with my Tough and Tender wipes and Sol-U-Guard. Now I have a super clean bathroom and I can still breath. 

And do some research into airway responses to manufactured products/cleaning products. J's doctor at Mass Eye and Ear Infirmary has given me a lot of information regarding the swelling and inflammation that can occur from exposure to them. For J, that means his ability to hear is rapidly impacted due to the narrowing of all of his airways (which prohibits normal fluid drainage- um ears!).

Be smart cleaners. Don't pull a Mama Bee!!!! Or don't clean at all and enjoy the snow day!

Monday, February 18, 2019

Ignorance is not bliss...it's just ignorance.

I am an incredibly lucky human being. I live in a beautiful home, in a fantastic town, with a great job, excellent health insurance (don't get me started on dental though!). I have a safe car, I get to travel with my family. Our needs are met, and then some.

I am INCREDIBLY lucky. I know that. As a single mom, I know that I am doubly, triply, blessed. My ex and I actually manage to get along, and put the kids first.

This photo journal article was posted today by a UK publication. Homeless in Cape May is a chronicle of the homeless living in Cape May (County, is what I am assuming). It has rifled quite a few feathers as painting Cape May in a bad light. It's not just Cape May- it's all major cities in the US. It's small towns, smaller cities. While this article highlights one place- the same headline could be about Boston, Los Angeles, Miami, Philadephia. There is a disparity of wealth.

Here's my question- if you're upset about it, what are you personally doing to help? No individual can solve homelessness, housing insecurity, food instability- by themselves. Well, if you're a billionaire maybe you can do more. I don't frankly know any billionaires, so I'm assuming my readers are average humans. I could make a comment about our current government, but others have done a much better job than I.

Bottom line, there is a way for every single human to do something for the betterment of humanity. Whether it's tucking away a $5 gift card or two to the local coffee shop (I live in MA- so that's Dunkin' obviously), or grabbing a few extra pairs of gloves to keep in the car if you find yourself at an intersection with a panhandler. I don't know the story of every person living on the street- and I don't need to. Basic human decency goes a long way. I know that upon learning about the lack of access to feminine hygiene supplies provided to food pantries and shelters, that's my family's focus.

More needs to be done. I get so upset and overwhelmed- and then I check myself. Small things mean a lot.

If everyone who read this did ONE thing for the indigent community where they live- that would add up.

Challenge accepted?

Sunday, February 17, 2019

Slacker Blogger Here...

Apparently I like February, since my last post was February 2018!!! Whoops. Well, what do you expect my loyal readers?? I clearly can't come up with pithy retorts frequently. So hmm, aside from the fact that it's cold- some basic updates.

-The boys both had surgery in October- thank goodness for Lali and Grampy because it was a day of revolving scrubs- from pre-op to OR to recovery for kid one, REPEAT. I will ALWAYS proclaim my love for Massachusetts Eye and Ear Infirmary because they are amazing. Dr. Leila Mankarious is a goddess amongst surgeons, and their child life staff is top notch.

-M is in grade 3, J in grade 1. Both are having excellent years and lordy loo has M turned into a reader! Yesterday he woke me up at 5:45 am declaring a state of emergency- AS I HAD NOT PREORDERED THE NEW BOOK COMING MONDAY. Um, not a state of emergency, but these days, our entire country seems a little awkward in defining an emergency. (and I had preordered the book- M only reminded me every other minute for weeks)

-Did you know that numerous ear infections in the first two years of life can impact adult teeth? Yeah, well now you do. It wasn't enough that J had numerous surgeries, was deaf for a while, learned to read lips, mastered some sign. All of the fluid pressure crap totally FUCKED his adult teeth, waaaaay before eruption. So he'll be having some serious dental work in May. Who knew seven year olds could get crowns? And for real, WTH with insurance not covering anesthesia- the system is rigged I tell you! And having all of that done with a dental averse kid is NOT happening.

-Work is still amazing. Exhausting, but fantastic.

-I have muscles in my body that I've recently started using, so I am petitioning BioFreeze to invent a full body dip product.

-We just were blessed with a full blown Team Baer Disney trip over Christmas- including Auntie Sara!!! It was amazing to be with Lali, Grampy, Auntie- enjoying all that Disney has to offer. M is big enough for scary rides, so it was a blast. Auntie has a fancy watch so we know we walked a total of 42 miles. And, the discovery of a lovely restaurant that shall remain un-named because we don't want it to get crowded. Animal Kingdom remains a favorite, and the bonus three FastPasses our last day were AWESOME! Test Track baby!!! It was the first time I had been there for New Year's Eve- and holy wow. Lali and Grampy were with M and J, and Epcot legitimately turned into a nightclub. DJ's, epic bass, special effects, party hats- an experience I will never forget (and won't repeat- there were over 100,000 people there).

-Petey joined our family March 17, 2018, and has proven to be the best dog ever. He is also a champion counter surfer which we learned on day one- RIP corned beef. He loves sleeping, eating, and the sun. Oh, and bow ties.

-We are now permanent Cape May in the summer people with the addition of the Beehive and the annex, Petey's Ping Pong Palace. All of Team Baer is thrilled and every morning J asks if we're going yet.

-Oh, and I turned 40! Digging it so far.

-Fern was unrepairable after her last kerfuffle- so we welcomed Zeus, my first male car- he's a zippy Honda Odyssey (I FINALLY HAVE A MINIVAN) and we are all in LOVE!

Other than that, just still being a family of goofballs- today we made lasagna as a family and it was lovely. There was minimal fighting, M made the sauce (scratch!) which turned out fantastic. J managed the cheese, and I browned the (99% fat free organic ground turkey-yeah, some things have changed here...). They took turns building layers and are so excited to have it for dinner.

And my favorite recipe of the year, just in case you're interested.... Hot Corn Dip. We had it our neighbor's and wow. It's incredible. My kids adore it (and don't realize they are eating at least some vegetables, and you can use FF cream cheese, sour cream, and reduced fat pepperjack- because you CAN'T use healthy mayo. I tried. It failed). Go make it now.


Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Lesson planning...well, sort of.

How ridiculous is it that I am planning my course of action in case of an active shooter in my school? It's 2018. It's crazy. And yet, I am. I should be napping (haha not really) or planning super cool stuff to enrich my curriculum after break. And yet, I'm analyzing my proximity to both exits from the school, and access to the roof.

Because no kid of mine will die on my watch. And yes, I said kid- my students are MY KIDS from 8:15 am to 2:10 pm. I get called mom at least three times a day. While I teach grades 5-8, due to the myriad of disabilities they manage, present as more immature than typical grade age peers. They are smart as all get out, but we hug a lot, reassure a lot, and sometimes, just have to help navigate making Easy Mac. Wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

And yet, in this day and age where kids are legitimately NOT IMPORTANT to elected officials swimming in money from the NRA, I'm planning where we would go if we needed to shelter in place- what we would use if we needed to counteract- and most importantly, what exit I can get them to, to evacuate. I'm glad my state uses ALICE- because I'm not into being a sitting duck.

As a single mom, I have contingency plans for EVERYTHING. If my car breaks down with the kids, if I collapse at work and am unconscious (trust me that is a very long and involved contingency plan- which my boss and secretary have), if a kid starts puking right before I have a big meeting. I cover my bases, because I'm mom. That's my job.

And that translates to my kids at school. I have contingency plans that I will NEVER, EVER, EVER have to use. (RIGHT??? REPEAT AFTER ME- NEVER!) Yet, not outside the realm of possibility. I know that my son's teachers' have the same plans in their head because, yes, we have to think about this.

Isn't that fucking sad? March 14th. March 24th. MARCH. SPEAK. BE HEARD.

Follow the lead of the children- they're not afraid to speak up. Why are you?