The past 11 months have been weird. I've been going through a divorce, and haven't wanted to really discuss it on any social media, or whatnot. My friends have known, obviously, and my family. The support I have received has been amazing. Nothing short of spectacular. However, as I stood in a courtroom today and dealt with a "trainee" judge I will freely admit that I almost passed out cold. My lawyer, ever the G, noticed and grabbed my arm to keep me upright. It's not new that my marriage was failing- but what struck me today was that it truly failed. I failed. He failed. We both were ready for a new tomorrow. And that was OK. It's OK to move on. It's OK to encounter a myriad of emotions. It's OK to want to burst into tears and cackle with hysterical laughter in the same moment. What hasn't failed? My love and concern for my kids. My need to provide for them now, and for the rest of their lives. My ability to understand that just because their father and I can't be married doesn't condemn them to a fatherless life. Whatever the next step is, I am ready.
I am ready because I had support. A great lawyer. Self-realization that this was the right thing. A family, or true "TEAM" behind me. The inner strength to weather the bad days. And also the ability to look forward. To know that this is just one step in my journey. It's ok. I am ok. My kids are ok. I overuse the work ok, and that is ok.
I am divorced.
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Monday, May 26, 2014
Easy Baked Sandwiches
Ok, so I NEVER have bread. It's something that just escapes my capability- but I always have crescent rolls. I use the store brand, or Pillsbury, but I know that Immaculate Baking Company makes a more organic version. Here's a recipe for an easy peasy baked sandwich that once chilled and sliced is excellent for school lunches, picnics, and the like.
2 packages crescent rolls
1 container lunch meat (I get the Wegman's smoked turkey in the package, as it's more cost effective)
Turkey pepperoni or bacon (pre-cooked)
Sliced or shredded cheese (any kind- I've done cheddar and swiss; colby jack and gouda)
Roasted Garlic & Tomato Jam
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Spray the bottom of a baking dish (mine is about 8 x 12) with cooking spray. Use one package of crescent rolls to cover the bottom. Layer cheese/meat/tomato jam/meat, and top with more cheese. There's no real rules to this. I have also added in pickled onions, roasted red peppers, and whatever I am in the mood for. Top with the other container of crescent rolls, trying to smush down the edges. I almost tuck them down towards the bottom crust along the sides. Cover with foil and bake for 20 minutes. Remove foil, and bake another 20 minutes. Allow to set, then cut and enjoy! Great cold too!!!
2 packages crescent rolls
1 container lunch meat (I get the Wegman's smoked turkey in the package, as it's more cost effective)
Turkey pepperoni or bacon (pre-cooked)
Sliced or shredded cheese (any kind- I've done cheddar and swiss; colby jack and gouda)
Roasted Garlic & Tomato Jam
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Spray the bottom of a baking dish (mine is about 8 x 12) with cooking spray. Use one package of crescent rolls to cover the bottom. Layer cheese/meat/tomato jam/meat, and top with more cheese. There's no real rules to this. I have also added in pickled onions, roasted red peppers, and whatever I am in the mood for. Top with the other container of crescent rolls, trying to smush down the edges. I almost tuck them down towards the bottom crust along the sides. Cover with foil and bake for 20 minutes. Remove foil, and bake another 20 minutes. Allow to set, then cut and enjoy! Great cold too!!!
Saturday, May 17, 2014
Roasted Garlic & Tomato Jam
Today wound up being beautiful- but I only figured that out AFTER doing a massive market trip in order to fill my freezer, and amuse the boys. They like cooking, thankfully, and M is actually getting some skills! It was just so sunny and lovely I started out with the Roasted Garlic & Tomato jam, which is my favorite topping for a sandwich, burger, or with brie. It's even lovely in a baked brie.
So here it is- my most delicious jam EVER. Yeah, well, don't tell that I only make one.
2 pints cherry or grape tomatoes
2 heads of garlic, roasted
1 tsp kosher salt
1/2 cup light brown sugar
Instant fruit pectin (1/2 packet)
Freezer canning jars (they're plastic, and I use the 8 oz size)
To make about 3 cups, use a blender or food processor to pulse together the tomatoes, the roasted cloves of 2 heads of garlic (wrap them in foil and bake at 325°F for about an hour until soft and lightly caramelized), and 1 teaspoons Kosher salt. Mix the pectin with the brown sugar. Stir into tomato mixture, and spoon into jars. Make sure you pay attention to the fill line! Pop into the freezer and pull out when you need a taste of summer!
So here it is- my most delicious jam EVER. Yeah, well, don't tell that I only make one.
2 pints cherry or grape tomatoes
2 heads of garlic, roasted
1 tsp kosher salt
1/2 cup light brown sugar
Instant fruit pectin (1/2 packet)
Freezer canning jars (they're plastic, and I use the 8 oz size)
To make about 3 cups, use a blender or food processor to pulse together the tomatoes, the roasted cloves of 2 heads of garlic (wrap them in foil and bake at 325°F for about an hour until soft and lightly caramelized), and 1 teaspoons Kosher salt. Mix the pectin with the brown sugar. Stir into tomato mixture, and spoon into jars. Make sure you pay attention to the fill line! Pop into the freezer and pull out when you need a taste of summer!
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Naked Left Handed Mamas, REJOICE!
Yeah, I'm a naked left handed mama. No wedding ring, no engagement ring. I'm doing it on my own- for ME. For my boys. Today is Mother's Day in the US (no clue if it's the same for all of my, oh, three readers across the pond!) and I was DREADING it. Mother's Day just seemed like a set-up for me- like any other Sunday. Wipe noses. Make lunches. Change diapers. Repeat. It wasn't though. As for the gift scene, my parents helped my boys choose gifts for me, which I adored. Their teachers helped them make lovely "homemade" gifts, which I will treasure forever. It's truly not about the stuff- but I steeled myself to see all the cute posts on Facebook of the breakfasts in bed, manufactured by daddies (read: husbands), to spoil their partners, and baby mamas. Yeah, there were those, but it honestly didn't bother me. I had some sad moments, but the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior- and when I was married Mother's Day surprises didn't make the cut- so why should it bother me now? You know what? It didn't. I was with my boys. I am ALWAYS with my mama in my heart. I saw many friends. I celebrated with people I adore. I laughed, smiled, and had my face painted like a tiger. I enjoyed a day in the sun with my sons, doing things they enjoy. I ate yummy food, and tucked my sweet babies into bed by 8 pm (yes, as amazing as the day was, it was really nice for the nuggets to be in bed)! It was a great day (and if you watch the Fresh Beats, go ahead and sing the rest of the song- "it was a super day! To spend the day together!!!")
I'm glad that the day is over, mainly because I'm exhausted from all of the good times. And also, because I no longer dread the second Sunday in May. Mother's Day is a beautiful day to be alive- to be loved, to be honored, and most importantly, to be free.
I'm glad that the day is over, mainly because I'm exhausted from all of the good times. And also, because I no longer dread the second Sunday in May. Mother's Day is a beautiful day to be alive- to be loved, to be honored, and most importantly, to be free.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
I threw a shower!
I have a friend. Well, I have several friends- but I only have one getting married. I get to be a bridesmaid, and Mr. M gets to be a ringbearer (with a fake ring obviously- he'd totally lose it, especially since it's not a treasured firetruck). The best part? I got to throw a bridal shower! I love entertaining, and food, and my friend, so it was a no brainer. The primary point of this post is to share the recipes that I used to create our yummy, multi-ethnic spread! First of all, the crab rangoon was my basic recipe- I played around with the shape a bit, but it's my standard. I also served spanakopita (like a real Greek, a guest proclaimed!), Greek salad, sesame noodles, Thai rice salad, curried chicken salad, and a lovely coconut cake. As for party throwing- choose a color theme, and then become obsessed with it. We used orange, pink, and yellow for everything from invites to favors!
So here goes:
Greek Salad
Cucumbers, cut in half and seeded, then sliced
Red onion chopped
Tomatoes, chopped
Kalamata olives, pitted (I use the pre-halved ones in a jar!)
Feta cheese
Dressing:
3 parts red wine vinegar to one part lemon juice, 1 part olive oil, a few shakes dried oregano. I like to combine them in a mason jar and shake like crazy!!!! I am sorry I don't have real measurements, but I don't measure when I make this- I shake and taste.
Sesame Noodles
Pasta (I used plain old spaghetti), cooked- I tossed with a smidge of olive oil so it didn't stick together)
12 ounces of the pasta
1/4 cup soy sauce
2 tbsp sugar
4 cloves garlic, minced
2 tbsp rice vinegar
3 tbsp sesame oil
4 tbsp olive oil
5 green onions (snipped- I use scissors!)
Sesame seeds
Combine all of the ingredients except the pasta, sesame seeds, and onions. Stir well and combine with pasta. Garnish with green onions and sesame noodles. If you like some spice, you can use about a 1/2 tsp of hot chili oil- I don't, because I am a PANSY.
Spanakopita
Now, bear with me- I don't really measure but these are DELICIOUS.
3 boxes frozen chopped spinach
5 green onions
Large container ricotta cheese
8 cloves garlic, minced
2 tsp dill
Bag of shredded parmesan (about 1.5 cups if you're shredding fresh)
Phyllo dough (get the sheets)
Cooking spray, butter flavored
Thaw the spinach and REALLY drain. I like to put it in a dish towel and twist it up like salt water taffy, and squeeze all the liquid out. Add to garlic, chopped green onions, dill, parmesan and combine well. Add about 3/4 of the container of ricotta. Combine thoroughly. Just use your hands- it works so much better. Allow phyllo dough to thaw, and then lay out on the counter. It should be very thin sheets. I lay them out so the long edge is like the horizon, and use a knife to cut into four even strips. As you cut, you are doing ALL the layers. For them to be fairly equally wide, I have a fifth teeny strip left over. You can be all mathematical and organized about it, and have equally sized strips, but I'm not that good. Spritz all exposed surfaces with cooking spray. This spray is your new BFF. Use it plentifully on exposed phyllo dough. You can also use melted butter, but I think the butter spray makes everything easier. Scoop a spoonful at the top of the strip, and proceed to fold over into a triangle shape, spritzing and folding over until the strip is gone. Think flag folding. I don't have a good explanation, but if you know how to fold a flag, you can do this. Hell, there is probably a youTube video on flag folding that might be helpful! Continue to spritz with your butter spray, and arrange folded triangles on a baking sheet that has been (you guessed it!) spritzed with the lovely butter spray. Bake at 375 degrees until golden brown.
As for the Thai Rice Salad, I LOVE THIS RECIPE. I often make it with chicken so that it is heartier. I rarely remember to add the shredded spinach, too.
So here goes:
Greek Salad
Cucumbers, cut in half and seeded, then sliced
Red onion chopped
Tomatoes, chopped
Kalamata olives, pitted (I use the pre-halved ones in a jar!)
Feta cheese
Dressing:
3 parts red wine vinegar to one part lemon juice, 1 part olive oil, a few shakes dried oregano. I like to combine them in a mason jar and shake like crazy!!!! I am sorry I don't have real measurements, but I don't measure when I make this- I shake and taste.
Sesame Noodles
Pasta (I used plain old spaghetti), cooked- I tossed with a smidge of olive oil so it didn't stick together)
12 ounces of the pasta
1/4 cup soy sauce
2 tbsp sugar
4 cloves garlic, minced
2 tbsp rice vinegar
3 tbsp sesame oil
4 tbsp olive oil
5 green onions (snipped- I use scissors!)
Sesame seeds
Combine all of the ingredients except the pasta, sesame seeds, and onions. Stir well and combine with pasta. Garnish with green onions and sesame noodles. If you like some spice, you can use about a 1/2 tsp of hot chili oil- I don't, because I am a PANSY.
Spanakopita
Now, bear with me- I don't really measure but these are DELICIOUS.
3 boxes frozen chopped spinach
5 green onions
Large container ricotta cheese
8 cloves garlic, minced
2 tsp dill
Bag of shredded parmesan (about 1.5 cups if you're shredding fresh)
Phyllo dough (get the sheets)
Cooking spray, butter flavored
Thaw the spinach and REALLY drain. I like to put it in a dish towel and twist it up like salt water taffy, and squeeze all the liquid out. Add to garlic, chopped green onions, dill, parmesan and combine well. Add about 3/4 of the container of ricotta. Combine thoroughly. Just use your hands- it works so much better. Allow phyllo dough to thaw, and then lay out on the counter. It should be very thin sheets. I lay them out so the long edge is like the horizon, and use a knife to cut into four even strips. As you cut, you are doing ALL the layers. For them to be fairly equally wide, I have a fifth teeny strip left over. You can be all mathematical and organized about it, and have equally sized strips, but I'm not that good. Spritz all exposed surfaces with cooking spray. This spray is your new BFF. Use it plentifully on exposed phyllo dough. You can also use melted butter, but I think the butter spray makes everything easier. Scoop a spoonful at the top of the strip, and proceed to fold over into a triangle shape, spritzing and folding over until the strip is gone. Think flag folding. I don't have a good explanation, but if you know how to fold a flag, you can do this. Hell, there is probably a youTube video on flag folding that might be helpful! Continue to spritz with your butter spray, and arrange folded triangles on a baking sheet that has been (you guessed it!) spritzed with the lovely butter spray. Bake at 375 degrees until golden brown.
As for the Thai Rice Salad, I LOVE THIS RECIPE. I often make it with chicken so that it is heartier. I rarely remember to add the shredded spinach, too.
Thai Rice Salad w.
Peanut Dressing
2 1/2 c. water
1 c. white rice
1 tsp. salt
(optional)
1/3 c. chunky
peanut butter
1/4 c. white wine
vinegar
3 tbsp. vegetable
oil
2 tbsp. soy sauce
1 tbsp. sugar
1 tsp. grated
fresh ginger
2 garlic cloves,
minced
1/8 tsp. cayenne
pepper
2 c. cut up cooked
chicken (optional)
1/4 c. finely
chopped onion
1 1/2 c. spinach leaves, cut into thin strips
Cook the rice according to package directions, and allow to cool. Using a wire whisk, combine peanut butter,
vinegar, oil, soy sauce, sugar, ginger, garlic and cayenne in small bowl. Add to rice with peanut dressing, chicken and onion. Mix well.
Cover and chill. Just before serving, stir in spinach. Yeah right. Forget the spinach. I always do. This gets better by the DAY!!! I adore making this for a crowd too, because it's super cost effective.
Well, that's all I have for now. I'm not sharing the cake recipe, because I guess I'm just mean. I will say the key is coconut pastry cream between the layers, but that's as far as I go!!!
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