Leggings...

Yes, I shall blog about leggings. The fact that I shall blog about a clothing item is nothing short of EPIC. I have horrible taste- anything that I look good in my mother bought me, period. There is no need to ask where I got it- my response shall be, um, Sylvia. Over the summer she got me some awesome Soybu pieces- including yoga pants, which I struggled with. They're tight, and clingy, but oh so soft. I love them, and I wear them a lot in my house! I have zero "brave" when it comes to clothes. You want me to raise money? Volunteer? Build a house? Sure, I've got that DOWN. But wear clothes anywhere outside of my comfort zone? Hell no. Panic attack city. At the end of the summer I found two maxi skirts and a dress on super clearance at Target, and they are my wardrobe. No joke, I realized that for every time I went to church, I wore that one dress. It's cute, don't get me wrong, but I do need to break my vicious cycle of Monday- black maxi skirt with solid top; Tuesday, dress; Wednesday grey maxi skirt with solid top; Thursday, old black dress with pills; Friday, black maxi skirt with solid top. Exciting, isn't it??? I did start to add some scarves, mainly to hide the little stains on the chest shelf on the solid tops!

Then I did this way cool event yesterday, and there was Michaela with her enchanting LulaRoe. I have several friends that sell LulaRoe, and I look at their pictures and love them, but this was my first time meeting the line in person. And did I meet it! I loved all the patterns, colors, styles- but was like "ohhh how cute for someone in shape and tiny". Then Michaela said the magic words- not, "oh, this might fight you", but "OH! Check these patterns out! They will look great on you!". I was so doubtful- until she pulled out her phone and showed me multiple pics of gorgeous women of all sizes rocking their LulaRoe. SOLD. I bought two pairs of leggings, and called it a day. Got home and tried them on- yup, they fit! But still, they are leggings. As in tight. Super duper soft, not at all transparent, real leggings. That would replace pants. Back the fact that they are leggings.

Monday morning arrives- the insanity starts late, of course, but I find a shirt that matches perfectly, and a black skirt to wear over them. Get the kids the school, get breakfast, you know, regular morning stuff. Arrive at work. Realize how uncomfortable I am with the skirt on too. AND TOOK IT OFF. As in, I took off my black skirt and went with my long tunic like top and JUST. FREAKING. LEGGINGS.

I wore them all day. I was comfortable, for perhaps the first time since the fall of 1995, in leggings (I remember the outfit- black leggings and a burgundy long sweater from the Gap. In Mr. Danze's AP European Histroy Class). For once, I didn't give a rat's tush what others thought I looked like. I felt AWESOME. I felt STRONG. I am not what most of society deems as beautiful, or fit. I look at this picture and see the bulges- and know that it's muscle in my thigh (there are plenty of jiggly bits elsewhere, don't worry!). I look in the mirror and see the bags under my eyes, the encroaching wrinkles, the limp hair. But today I realized something...

I am a strong ass woman raising two boys alone. I am teaching them to think of others, be kind, and appreciate what they have.  I teach students that don't fit into the mainstream school system that they are valued. I empower others.  I can support friends who are struggling. I can take care of my family. I am surrounded by an incredible support system. I am a feminist. I am a pacifist. I am a Unitarian Universalist. I can make mistakes and learn from them. Sometimes, I can even build those really hard Lego sets (with lots of cursing).  I can be absolutely ANYTHING I want to be (except maybe a marathoner, but hey, jury's out on that- it looks pretty torturous). 

And I can do it in leggings. 

ENOUGH.

ENOUGH. When do we, as a country, finally draw the line and decide to take a stand in the face of violence? When do our legislators finally decide that they can actually show some fortitude and gumption and DO SOMETHING? When are fellow Americans going to start contacting these Senators?  Even the New York Daily News gets it. A Missouri state rep nails it. I am sure that I am one of a million bloggers today thinking about the same thing. Guns don't kill people, people kill people. Well, duh. So let's not give more people guns. It seems so logical to me. The fact that when my newsfeed bleeped "Mass Shooting in San Bernardino" I didn't even flinch, hit it home. I am at the point where I expect this, because nothing has been done to prevent it. These headlines have become commonplace. They don't surprise me- they scare me. I read an article today on how to survive a workplace or school shooting, and I found myself taking note. I. TOOK. NOTES. I thought about how I could teach my students to run in a zig zag pattern without scaring them. I tried to figure out what my children, who are six and four, could understand and replicate. The fact that I spent a good ten minutes debating the most therapeutic way to say "if there are victims, lay in their blood and don't move" rocked me to my core. I refuse to have this conversation- as I am very much hopeful that change is around the corner. That love will conquer hate. That common sense will prevail. I won't lie though, I'm scared for what could come next. There WILL be a time when our country, whether Republican or Democrat, will realize that we have to stand together against violence, especially in regards to guns. Yes, a mentally ill person can wreak havoc in many ways- but last time I checked, it's a lot easier to kill with a semi-automatic than a knife. I could like the incidents that lead me to this evening, and these thoughts- but as a child of the 90's, I can just say Columbine. I did some searching and found this article. I don't know what is more frightening- that there have been so many deaths, or that I didn't even know about half of them.

I really thought that there would be a change after Sandy Hook. I was so very optimistic. For naught.

In all things, give thanks...

It's Thanksgiving Eve- I would love to be all snuggled down with my boys, but they are with their dad. It sucks.  When choosing to get divorced I knew that this would happen, and that it would be sucky. Still better than the option!

So, breathing through the sucky, and enjoying the decorating of the adult tree, as we did the kid tree all together earlier this afternoon. My kids have finally gotten the concept and loved finding all of their yearly ornaments. It was awesome! So now I am cooking and baking, and doing all of the traditional Thanksgiving Eve things. The flip side of this is that the turkey I just basted isn't for me. The cookies in my car? Not for me either. Don't get me wrong, I have some yummy stuff that I will partake in as well, but they're the "side dish" to my day of giving thanks.

I am grateful that I can afford to buy a few packs of white socks for those who live on the streets.
I am grateful that I can afford to make a meal for those who cannot.
I am grateful that I live in a country whose icon of liberty is engraved with these lines:

"Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

I am grateful that I have the freedom to defend these lines against those who disagree (Ummmm, hello Governor?)

I am grateful that my life is full of people who feel the same.

I am grateful that my town has a whole parish of people who live their lives with similar ideals (I mean, really- check out the explanation of our "icon" of the flaming chalice).
I am grateful that I will be able to welcome my boys home Friday into a home that is warm, with a fully stocked fridge and pantry. 
I am grateful that we will make memories. 

Really, though, I am grateful to BE. I will always be indebted to my parents for being a living model of how to live life gracefully and with gratitude. When I was talking to my mom tonight and wailing about my boys' "gimme gimme" attitude she reminded me that I was the same way at their age- and that I grew to recognize the good that we all have in us- race, gender, class be damned. We are all humans, we all need help at some time or another- and that ties us all together. This holiday isn't about heading into a store to get awesome prices on something that we really don't need- it's about recognizing the good is us all, and doing what we can each do to better the world. That might just be by thanking whomever makes our coffee on the way to a big family dinner, or it could be passing out some warm socks to the panhandlers that approach our car as we dash to the store that is open to get extra cranberry sauce. 

I'm not saying that every person, everywhere, should eschew the creature comforts and family traditions- I'm just saying that we should be grateful that we have those comforts and traditions!

Remember that we all have a gift to give, and never doubt that one person can change the world, even if it's just the world of one person. Do good. Be kind. In the words of a pretty awesome Reverend, blessed be.

Looking back...

Today is November 9th. Four years ago, it was the last night, in my life, that I would be pregnant. At the time, I was mightily irritated because I was doing that 24 hour pee in a bucket test, to ensure that I wasn't developing pre-eclampsia- which, after delivery, when the tests were run, I wasn't. It was the last night we were three- daddy, mommy, and Mr. M. 

Here we are, four years later, and we're still three- Mommy, Mr. M, and J-Birdie. 

That fact should make me sad, but it makes me ridiculously happy. My boys are the center of my life- my heart waltzing around outside of my body. J has been many things- Shrimp, J-Dog, and J-Birdie... but he will always be my baby. J will grow, and change, and one day be a man- my man-baby. Heaven help any partner that he chooses...I may not be so kind!

The baby that made me strong, and willing to change my life. The baby that made me even stronger through his numerous health issues- I know more about kidneys, ear tags, hip dysplasia, air ways, and the deaf community than I ever though possible. When I learned he had 99% hearing loss, I was ready to communicate forever through sign. I was ready to do anything to ensure his health and happiness...thankfully, through a lot of changes in the home, and several surgeries, he's a fully hearing kiddo (97% according to his last screens- I'll take it). 

Tonight, I am grateful. I have been blessed with a child that is my mini-me- which at times, to be honest, really sucks. Stubborn as all get out, but then again, it's karma. A sweet, kind, boy- when given his birthday presents tonight responded with "Thank you mama, for making my birthday special". 

As my heart continues to live outside of my body in M and J, I am just so fulfilled. I love you, my babies, and I always will. 

Views on drama, cars and kindergarten...

You know when you have a lot going on in your life, and you just need all the other details to fall into place? Yes? So you know my last two weeks. There were so many major transitions (M to K, J to a new school, Nanny 911 the splendiferous Catherine leaving for college, Mommy back to work, and new to being a middle school teacher ALL. DAY. LONG). Everything has it's own weight in emotions, logistics, and whatnot.

First, the positive. Miles flipping LOVES kindergarten. Frankly. I love his teacher, and his school, and his nurse, and his principal, and the lunch room, and I want to go to kindergarten again. He loves going to Miss Allison's in the morning, but is less than impressed that mama gets out of work early enough to get him from the bus- he would MUCH rather hang at Miss Allison's with his buddies. J is tolerating his new school- he loves a lot of it, but is rather cranky about this nap time thing- my kids don't sleep- they just don't- so nap is kind of ugly. J wants to chat with his teachers and is less than impressed about the "Shhh!" that comes when he's trying to have full blown conversations with the few awake members of his class. Well, suck it up, buttercup. Nap time happens. I manage to make it to work on time so far, and work's going as smoothly as I could hope.

Then there's the shit show portion of life. Nothing insane, but the minor annoyances that you really wish you didn't have to deal with- like your car dying in the the 90 degree heat. And the battery being housed in the freaking wheel well, which necessitates a tow and a wait. ON YOUR KID'S FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL (J) when all you want to do is see how it went and how much he hates you for sending him. So you send someone to pick him up, and you move on. You get a new battery and exhale, thinking alright! Glad this happened now and not the first week of school!

And then, it happens again. The first week of school. The first day of soccer practice. When it's 90+ and you sweat merely exhaling. Got M off the bus, navigate the "I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE MISS ALLISON'S!". Climb in to go pick up child number two- and have dreams of stopping and getting a nice bottle of wine. Crank the keys. NOTHING. Silently lose your mind, and climb back out of the sweat chamber. Call AAA. Let M go play with his buddies. Try to find a garage to deal with this issue- realize no garage can do anything until after Labor Day weekend. Then, a eureka moment. I paid a lot to have fancy pants extended warranties on this SUV. Call dealership. And like the parting of the heavens, life is easier. "Bring it in!" they said. "We'll have the rental here" they said, "at no cost to you!"

You send an amazing friend to get kid number two, to drop at an equally amazing neighbor's- you get to dealership, you get a rental. You uninstall two car seats and are appalled at the filth below- like really, really embarrassed. As in I am hoping detailing comes with service at the dealership. Detailing with bleach and commercial grade vacuums. Hop in your little tin can, albeit a red tin can that's brand new, and start to relax- for about thirty seconds, until the child in the back seat realizes that the doors aren't on "child lock" and opens his door WIDE open (thankfully in the parking lot at about one mile per hour). Commence heart palpitations. Remedy situation by activating child lock. FINALLY drive home. You feel like ok, I got this. The fancy mama car will get fixed, we have a safe vehicle to get to school tomorrow. I have dealt with extremely kind people, and have the support of astronomically amazing parents and friends. There are way bigger problems in the world!!! Pull into the driveway and you hear this little voice from the backseat... "but what about soccer?"

Well damn. Tomorrow is a new day...

Transitions, also known as no more packing lunches!

It's been a bucket of transitions in my household over the past week. Y'all know how much I like change, so I have been PERFECTLY DELIGHTFUL. So, really, if I have had any contact with you in the real world over the past week, I am so, so, sorry. I'm not really that much of a jerk! J started at a new school, much to the chagrin of his mama- CK is an amazing school, with such loving teachers, and provided an amazing education to my nuggets. However, it's completely out of my way in the morning- and for me, needing to be at work by 7:15, that means a lot. So he started at a new center about a mile from our house. His transition has been going well, and his mama LOVES that they provide hot, scratch made breakfasts and lunches! WAHOOO! One less lunchbox to pack!

Our beloved nanny, Miss Catherine, went back to school, and all of a sudden tubs are totally on mama- this doesn't mean much to most parents, but my kids HATE THE TUB. It's a screaming trip on the misery train, complete with breakdowns, tears, and sometimes some unkind words (on the mama end)! Aside from the logistics, we miss her desperately, and our days feel kind of weird.

And then there's Mr. M. He's almost 6. He missed the cutoff. Which of course means kindergarten is calling his name. GULP. My nugget CAN'T be that old! He has been excited but I have been a mess- I am a teacher, and my reporting time is WAY earlier than his get on the bus time. BAH! How will this WORK? Nevermind the days that I work and he has no school! Enough to make a mama blanche. Thank goodness for Miss Allison- she's putting M on the bus every day, and is pretty much serving as my "oh sh&t" go to! I think he likes her almost as much as his mama, and I'm REALLY thankful for that! It doesn't hurt that I worked with her mama over ten years ago, and they're just good people- the real deal. So a big exhale.

Mr. M's school had a lot of events in the spring (most of which Miss Catherine took him to), and we were lucky enough to have his class assignment in May. All summer, he's been thinking about Mrs. Rubin. Would she like waffles? Does she sing funny songs? Will she play games? Has she ever been to the beach? Since I knew nothing, I just played the "I don't know card". Well, today was the "you're a kindergartner for one hour" orientation, and I have to say, I may love her as much as Mr. M!  She's peppy, and fun, and seems to be a perfect fit for my guy. I was a bit teary (read: about to bawl like a baby, but the fabulous nurse gave me a big hug and reassured me. I LOVE HER). The kiddos got to ride the bus with the principal, and meet their new friends (be assured, M had his listening ears on- I checked!) Parents got to sit in a rather stuffy room (it was humid as heck today- not the fault of anyone) and pretend to not be nervous. I got to meet some awesome parents, and get all crazy over creating a contact list- right up my alley. We also met the PTO coordinators, and got some Zeh school swag- T-shirts, stickers, and a really cool book called "Hello, Stripes!" which is about a day at Zeh where Stripes, the zebra mascot, got to join in the fun.

Let me tell you, when it's bedtime the night before day one, that book was a lifesaver. Miles loved the story of Stripes' day at Zeh, and as his mama, I loved the messages that were infused. It appears that it was written by the Zeh PTO, and illustrated by Brad Vinson and Danny Moore. Not trying to plagiarize, but excited to share some of their words.

A zebra without stripes
Looks something like a horse.
Zebras really need their stripes,
To set them on their course.

The stripes are not a label,
Just a piece of who we are
The stripes we earn in life
Will help us to get far.

To get these special stripes,
We have to do our best.
And when it comes to learning,
We should put ourselves to the test.

We have to use our talents,
And improve those that aren't so good
But when it comes to getting stripes,
We have to think we could.

Our stripes could be a work of art,
Or helping hands we earn
So let's all get together
At Zeh we will learn!

WOW. Nothing about winning, or common core, or standardized testing. Doing our best, using our talents, having helping hand. YES, please. THESE MATTER! This was so reassuring in and of itself. Then a few pages in, this winner "Each child is as unique as the stripes on a zebra."

HECK YES. I am so thrilled that Mr. M will be a Zebra, and his brother can follow. Proud of my nugget, and even MORE proud to be in a school system that just gets kids!

Icing on the cake? M and I have reviewed the lunch menu, and HE WILL EAT IT ALL. Goodbye packing lunch stress! You got that right, this MAMA HAS BEEN SET FREE!!!!!

On a serious note, to all of those kiddos and mamas taking a new step- enjoy every moment, and relish in the excitement! And cry when you need to...

Farm, to Table, to Belly...

Tonight I got to do what I have dreamed of for almost ten years- attend a farm(er) to table dinner, ON A FARM. I was able to get tickets to the Lettuce Be Local Farmer's Dinner, held at the beautiful Mesa Farm in Rutland, MA. The goal of the dinner is to draw attention to the fabulous farmers that provide incredible products to local chefs, restaurants, and caterers. It was also an opportunity for the chef's that regularly source their products locally to really show them off, complete with beer and wine pairings. I have been giddy for almost a week- and when we pulled up I was almost twitching. 

I mean, c'mon, it's GORGEOUS. Mainly, I was relieved that I was able to get dressed and together in time- when my friends who I attended with arrived at my house, I was still in my towel trying to figure out what I was going to wear!! 

We entered the equestrian barn which had been all done up for the event- hay bales, lanterns, greenery. Long tables filled the center of the barn, with stations for beer and wine, charcuterie, crudite, fresh squeezed juice by Nu Cafe, black tea with blueberries and coffee by Reverly, and photo station with Meatloaf the very fake bull surrounding. Immediately we were offered fantastic hors d'oeuvres- the highlight was the liver meatballs with bacon and onion jam, served by my favorite waiter from Volturno! We kept going back for those and the pickled rhubarb and pickled snap peas. DELICIOUS. 

Once we were seated, we got to partake in a true culinary adventure. The chefs were Nick Geraci and Tim Russo from Volturno, Rob Fecteau from Birchtree Bread, Damian Evangelous from Armsby Abbey, Brian Treitman from BT's Smokehouse, and Alina Eisenhauer (yes, THAT Alina Eisenhauer, from Food Network's Chopped, Cupcake Wars, and the winner of Sweet Genius. Oh, yeah, and she just cooked at the James Beard house. No biggie, right???? Can you tell she's my chef-hero???)  from Sweet. There are really no words to describe the meal- it was just delightful from start to finish. Highlights were eating fresh greens, including clover, flowers, and herbs paired with heirloom tomatoes. Oh, and sitting across from the farmers, Catherine Bauman and David Beyer (B & B Farms) that grew and picked said delicious greens.  Ahh, and the grass-fed confit brassicas (I totally had to google brassicas- it means cruciferous vegetables, like cauliflower, brussel sprouts, broccoli, kale, and cabbage- basically every vegetable I love) with grilled onions and crunchy yum yum something or others...yeah, I'll just post pictures of the menu and wine/beer pairing list. The wine was from a variety of places, and the beer too- however, three were from Medusa Brewing, in little old Hudson, MA. I actually really liked the beers I tried, which for me, is kind of epic! Go check them out- I have it on authority that their pretzels are wonderful.

It was all just amazing. Who knew that you could make sweet pea and lemon thyme panna cotta??? And top it with fresh blueberries from B & B Farms in New Braintree? Um, Alina did. I have to say that being able to experience the dishes with the farmers that grew the raw ingredients was unreal. I so much enjoyed learning more about the process, and I left with a new appreciation for where my food comes from- starting with the people!

I guess the whole point of me going on and on is to say that FOOD IS AWESOME. Get it locally, grow it, cook it, enjoy it. Play with your food! Be brave, and eat the flowers! Go check out the restaurants and chefs that participated, you won't be dissappointed.

Oh, and obviously, get tickets for next year's Farmer's Dinner! It is such an amazing experience! 

Some Super Serious Thoughts on Summer...

And by super serious, I totally mean random things I think about while I retreat to my "other brain space" when my kids are in meltdown mode. Either way, they entertain me, and it's been a while since I have shared with the free world, which doesn't really give a hoot, what's going on in my head.

Summer is freaking amazing. I LOVE IT. I am a complete heliophile and while I have no "guns" to speak of, if the sun's out, my flabby batwing upper arms are out! Even with a crazy thick SPF 30 mineral based sunscreen, I am TAN. So are my kids. Well, aside from just above their thighs through their torso, to just above the elbow (I LOVE SPF RASHGUARDS- even though ours now look a bit like tye dye from popsicles, ketchup, paint, sunblock and the like). Again, honestly earned color. When I put sunblock on us we all look purple I apply it so thickly- some days, when J has his goggles on, he looks like that evil purple minion. It makes me giggle.

Second thing I love? VACATION. And by vacation I mean a trip WITH. MY. FREAKING. AMAZING. NANNY. She's epically awesome and has both the boys on behavior systems and oodles of positive reinforcement schedules. When she's with us, I am actually on vacation too, for some of the time. If I want to have dinner with just my mom, I can. If my bestie joins us, we can go out at night and go to fancy bars in Cape May- drink Pimm's cocktails seaside, and blood orange martinis at hip bars. Yup. It's that awesome. I got to have dinner with both my mom and my dad sans kids, separately. It was wonderful. As I get older, and more busy, those opportunities grow more and more special.

Another awesome aspect of summer? Getting to be totally goofy and spontaneous. Sometimes it works out great- going to a town concert, picnic in tow, with dear friends- craziness ensued with hand stands, a few tackles, and running barefoot in the grass. A wonderful night all around. Other nights, like tonight, total fail. Decided to be all cray-cray and take my kids to a 6:45 pm showing of the hot kid's movie- the movie theater is a mile away, I was like wahoo we are ON THIS! Until I went upstairs to get dressed (not lazy in jammies- still in the swimsuit from the day's festivities) and came down four minutes later to find Mr. M out cold on the couch and J-bird not far behind. So much for that adventure!!!

In all seriousness though, when I try to put the first half of the summer into words, it's hard- because it's been that wonderful. I am enjoying all of it. From Mr. M swimming on his own for the first time, to J dancing in the grass, to picking crabs, to seeing a dolphin crest, to lazy moments at a winery, to porch time at the Virginia with my mama- it's all been amazing. I can't wait for what the rest of the summer brings, and a little piece of me is mourning the impending fall. I can't even go there yet. One thing I am surprised that I enjoy? A separation from social media- my every move isn't posted; although I still share pics of our adventures, because it is a great way to connect with family near and far- but I don't care how many likes, or retweets, or what not occur. If someone needs me, they call me. And for once, I actually answer, because I have time to connect. It's splendiferous.

For now, I want splashing, dirt, sand, and sun.

GRADUATION DAY!!!

Perhaps I should have titled this post graduation day PART ONE, as I have two this year. Today was the graduation at my school, and in two short weeks, my nugget graduates from Kindergarten Prep. Since it's still today, I'll keep my thoughts there, as I have already cried ENOUGH.

I work in a therapeutic alternative school, with an eclectic, awesome, talented group of kids. We have rigorous academics as well as a huge focus on therapeutic groups, art, and music. The path these kids walk is one where they learn who they are, and how to love their true selves. I adore my job. I think the kids are awesome, and my team- well, we're a TEAM. Today we unleashed the graduating class of 2015 upon the world. It's a small class- six students- and their statistics rock. Three headed to four year colleges or universities, two already gainfully employed, one furthering their education elsewhere. Those are pretty amazing statistics. However, they say nothing about these kids- and what we do from 7:45 to 1:50 every day. One of our ninth graders painted a canvas for our front entry- "We're not just a school, we're a family". This sentiment is never more true than when we celebrate.

One of our seniors graduates has been with us for four years- her entire high school career. There is no staff in the building, no student in the halls, that doesn't know her. There will be a palpable void on Monday, as we all resume classes for another TWO AND A HALF WEEKS. These kiddos were an integral part of our world and today. POOF, they are done. While I shed many tears today, I know that they are ready for the next challenge, in no small part due to the hard work of our team. I wish them well, and look forward to hearing about their next steps in the future.

Now, I have to focus on the next class years- the kids that will grace the chairs in my classroom for another year- or with some of them, five or six years (we've got some really great middle schoolers too)! However, the graduates of 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, and 2010 are never far from my mind- it's the lessons I've learned with them that will allow me to continue to support and advocate for my future classes. We don't forget- and our resolve to continue to be agents of change in the lives of kids doesn't wane.

Today though? Today I cry happy tears with students, families, and coworkers- celebrating the progress, drive, and determination of six wonderful kids. I reaffirm my dedication to being a teacher, and guide, on their path.

Cape May Vacations- episode one...

It's no secret that I am a Cape May girl- I spent all of my summers there, and a tremendous amount of time off season. It's the place that my soul is peaceful. Luckily, my children react the same way. There is something about that magical tiny city that transforms us as soon as we cross the bridge. Having moved to Massachusetts after college, my time in Cape May has been unfortunately reduces to a few days here and there- NO LONGER! This summer, the boys and I will be able to spend two weeks in July, and one week in August, just BEING. The extra awesome part is that this is the summer that a college friend will also be there with her family, and my bestie is also coming with us, and wait for it- it gets better- my NANNY IS COMING TOO! So that's three people that I really want to fall in love with Cape May. In preparation, I am whipping together a few "must do" blog posts.

Today, I start with food. Duh. Have you met me??? I am all about the nom-nom-noms. So here, in my totally biased opinion, are the must EATS of Cape May (and West Cape May, and Cape May Point).

Family Friendly
1. The Lobster House- skip the fancy inside part- order at the take out window or the raw bar out on the docks. Table stalk. Enjoy a fabulous meal right on the water. There is even a Lobster House tour which is really, really awesome!!! My kids love watching the boats, and I LOVE THE FOOD. Warning: Wine selection to eat on the docks is limited to mini bottles of Sutter Home- it does the trick but don't get all excited about a fabulous glass of wine to accompany your meal. Get there early, it's worth it.
2. The Red Store- Cape May Point's newest, and really only, venue for dining. Super fresh, farm to table food. You want the Avocado Toast, trust me.
3. The Blue Pig Tavern- located at the top of the mall, in the fabulous Congress Hall Hotel, the Blue Pig relies heavily on produce from Beach Plum Farm- just down Sunset Avenue. Get the deviled eggs, the crab cakes, or the scallops. And lots of other yummy things- they serve breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And as a side note, you can sit in the rockers on the ocean side of Congress Hall and order from their menu. That's lovely for a no-kid, I want a nice cocktail, kind of evening.
4. Louie's Pizza- Louie's will also appear in a "night out" post but it deserves multiple mentions. White pizza with tomato, garlic, spinach and ricotta. Slices the size of your head for a few dollars. Enough said. No tables available? No problem- grab it to go and walk across the street and eat on the boardwalk.
5. McGlade's Backstreet- farm fresh, super local, and FREE PARKING. Yeah, it's amazing. McGlade's Backstreet has an ever rotating menu of what's fresh, local, and delicious. Their cobbler is mind blowing- and you need to order dessert with your dinner because it's all made fresh, to order. McGlade's is BYOB so stop by Collier's before you go.
6. Depot Market- it's so awesome, they don't even need a website. Located at 409 Elmira Street, Depot is the place to get fresh muffins, breakfast sandwiches, COFFEE, cookies, and other delicious things that are dreamed up daily.
7. For breakfast, there are really two games in town- Dock Mike's at 110 N. Broadway, and Uncle Bill's by Congress Hall. Dock Mike's is awesome. Their pancakes with bananas and pecans make me drool. Uncle Bill's is an institution in the city of Cape May. You can snag an outside table and have mediocre pancakes. However, their kid cups are shaped like crayons. Needless to say, my kids love it.
8. There are some nights or days where you don't want to deal with the fuss of "dining"- that's when you hit up BIg Wave Burritos and Empanada Mama's. DEEEEE-licious. If you hit Big Wave, get a Rio Bowl, and send me a thank you note after. There's also Duckie's Farm Stand in West Cape May where you can grab super fresh produce (um, hello, Jersey corn and peaches) and an amazing assortment of jams, jellies, and pickled thingies. And don't think I forgot Hot Dog Tommy's. Yeah, you will get in line at 10 am to get one of his dogs. Tom will be wearing a hot dog hat, and you will go back. Tell Tom I sent you.

Wahoo I Have No Kids and No Curfew Dining
I may love this category a little too much...no reflection on my awesome kids, but sometimes mama wants adult food and adult drinks!
1. The Ebbitt Room- really, I am all about the front porch and the bar at the Virginia Hotel- farm to table deliciousness, super creative cocktails- upscale, beautiful- and cross your fingers Leo is your bartender. They make a daily popcorn blend for patrons at the bar and it's pretty much always amazing. I'm not so into the I-made-a-reservation-eight-months-ago scene, but I can get that feel in the bar. Valet, thankfully!
2. The Mad Batter- now, I have not eaten here in donkey's years, but it was flipping delicious the last time I was there, and there's ALWAYS a line outside. Next door to the Virginia Hotel on Jackson Street, if you have to wait, there's the aforementioned fabulous bar in the Virginia.
3. The Washington Inn- this is the standard for fantastic cuisine in Cape May. It's impeccable, delicious, and quite a bit fou-fou. The have valet. That makes me happy. They also have a wine bar that is WAY less fou-fou, and doesn't require reservations. You can order just as delicious small plates and meals in the wine bar as you could in the restaurant. However, if you are a Sauvignon Blanc gal, their selection is mediocre. I say go the martini route!

These are my all time favorites- it's not to say that there aren't other great places, like George's Place, 301 Beach Avenue- which is a Guy Fieri approved Diner, Drive-In, or Dive- for Greek food- if you go there, make sure you walk around the corner and see the Guy Graffiti. It's pretty cool. Next up in my installment of Cape May Vacations- things to DO!

Mother's Day, and other such things...

Today is MOTHER'S DAY!!!!! Otherwise known as soccer Sunday, laundry day, pack lunches for the week day, and a general day of misery that the weekend is almost over. I think we should move Mother's Day to Saturday, personally- but that's just me. As an avid FB'er, I was trying to figure out what moving tribute I could post to recognize my mom, and I just couldn't come up with anything that truly encompasses what I want to say. So I'll resort to the extra long "status update" AKA my blog.

So, my mom:

She's stunningly beautiful, obviously, and unfortunately, I look nothing like her. Damnit. She's the best friend I will ever have, and the most amazing Lali my children could ever dream of.

Most importantly, she taught me how to be a mother- y'all know how much I love my lists, so here is a list, obviously not all-inclusive, of things I have learned.

1. Aprons are your friend, wear them.
2. It's never too late to change your path.
3. If you're going to sweat, look good doing it.
4. Recognize the beauty around you, in the everyday.
5. It's ok to make a mess, but make sure you clean it up.
6. Always have a really fabulous lip gloss in your purse, just in case.
7. It's always better to do for others than for yourself.
8. Kindness is more important than pretty much anything else.
9. Wallpaper can be amazing, if it's the right one.
10. Don't touch the white couch.

I think the most important thing is that family doesn't have to be blood- you get to choose who holds special places in your life- sometimes they're family, sometimes they are friends, but family is what you decide it should be.

Oh yeah, and that even though it's not always pretty, it's always amazing to be a mom!

Happy Mother's Day to my mom, and my mamas- and Kelly Clarkson is correct- my life would suck without you.

Oh Lilly...that I shall never have...

Today was the launch of the Lilly + Target line. I was so excited. EPICALLY EXCITED. I adore Lilly Pulitzer prints, dresses, shoes, purses- I just love the way the colors are used to create a fun, intricate pattern. Until now, I have had to relegate my Lilly love to purses, calendars, and frankly, home screen backgrounds. Lilly is beautiful. Lilly is SKINNY.

(Let me preface all of this rant  by acknowledging that I recognize this entire post is ridiculous, and it's not a big deal- however, today, I am the epitome of "first world problems". I get that. That said, I can still be ticked.)

I am not skinny. I am supple, round, curvaceous- squishing according to my kids. Really, I'm effing fat. Enough said. No Lilly shift would ever fit me, unless I ripped out all the seams and added a lot of elastic. A LOT.

So this Lilly + Target thing was my chance to actually own clothing that both fit me and delight my soul. I was one of those weirdos that woke up at 1 am, 2 am, 3 am, waiting for that "early morning launch". Launch it did- and website? It did crash. I had a cart of fabulous shifts, some towels, and mugs. I have been SAVING MONEY for this day. I suck at saving for anything, so that alone was pretty epic. I also RARELY buy anything for myself. Well, Site crashed. And more crashed. And nothing. By the time it was back online it was 5 am and NOT ONE ITEM was available. I tried multiple sizes, patterns, items- nothing. The only thing left for a girl to do was to pack her squawking children into the car and go the store. I live within 10 miles of THREE TARGETS. Number one- nothing. I got there at 8:15 am. FIFTEEN minutes after opening. There were no displays left, no clothes left, NOTHING. Only a few sobbing sales associates, and some women in the checkout with five carts. Second store- saw a friend in the parking lot nursing a few scrapes who told me not to bother. Third Target- saw an actual brawl in the parking lot. Got out of there VERY quickly. I get that my desire for an adorable shift dress and maybe a beach towel or two isn't very important- but if you're only going to release a certain amount, and NOT going to limit purchases, just call it what it is- a flash sale. I would have reacted accordingly, and hired a baby sitter so I could line up. Wait, no, I wouldn't, because the plus sizes AREN'T AVAILABLE IN STORE. At least, that's what the "look book" and pre-sale propaganda informed me. Bottom line? I'm crossing my fingers that Target offers Employee Assistance Programs- that include psychological counseling for PTSD. Pretty sure most associates need that after today! Everyone looked totally shell-shocked.

According to the social media world though, I could be the proud owner of a plus size shift dress in green and white- IF I DRIVE TO KANSAS.

Target, you've pissed me off. Quite a bit. You will be getting NO LOVE from me,  or my debit card.

Food, glorious food!!

I love food. Y'all know that. I cater, and bake, and am, in general, a crazy foodie. I just bought tickets for a farm to table dinner that isn't happening until the END OF JULY. I was so nuts to get them I harassed my friends via social media, texts, pictures, and phone calls to see if they wanted to go- I drew the line at sexting images of cabbages though...

Either way, I really, really, enjoy good food. I have recently embraced golden beets- and I totally blame my mother, and the California Grill at the Contemporary Resort in Disney World for this new addiction. I can't get enough of them. I roasted 12 last weekend, and they were gone by Wednesday. Some goat cheese, candied kumquats, and pecans? OH HELL YES. Amazing. California Grill blew my mind. I learned that I don't like pork rillettes even though I really should, considering the ingredients- and that I would probably throw someone into traffic for duck liver pate with black sea salt. Yup. I would. Hate me. I'm clearly a horrific person. If you've had it, you would probably do the same. I can also cook- I can whip up some pretty damn good fare. This weekend, however has been all about cakes. I had a Bar Mitzvah cake and cupcakes, and a third birthday to get done. Thankfully, I have friends that help me in a pinch! Love the way the Bar Mitzvah cake turned out... even though I had to make it twice because I dropped it. Stupid matchbox cars!!!

All of this deliciousness aside, let's get real. We need food to sustain us- our bodies need healthy foods to make them work (thanks to all of the Curious Kids teachers that have taught my kids this!!!!) There are millions of people in the United States alone that can't afford to just jet into the market and spend five dollars on a container of organic raspberries (hell, myself included- it seems like such an extravagance). If you are reliant on food stamps, or SNAP, benefits, your daily food allotment boils down to FOUR. DOLLARS. A. DAY. Yes, stop and absorb that. That includes drinks, etc. If you're a bottled water snob, guess what??? NO FOOD FOR YOU. I am a very, VERY, lucky mama. I can afford to provide my kiddos with healthy foods (but no freaking raspberries- I mean C'MON!!!) and occasional dinners out. If I had to rely on a SNAP or food stamp ration, we'd be eating chicken nuggets and canned corn every single day. 

It's Lent. I'm not a Catholic, so I'm not up on the specifics- but I do know that people give up stuff, and grow stronger spiritually, and what not. I am all for strengthening yourselves (as long as no weight training is actually involved, of course), so I have enjoyed hearing what people are "giving up" for Lent. I have a college friend, Stephanie Jussaume Peddicord (no relation to Nana Hannah and Pepe next door BTW!) who has adopted a rather unique Lenten challenge. She's going to eat only what someone reliant on food stamps, pantries, and SNAP would be able to eat. Four dollars a day. She's blogging this, and it is incredibly eye opening. Stephanie has partnered with HungerworX- and her goal is to raise fund to help people that are hungry. Not that "oh geez I really want that Wegman's chocolate tarte but it's eight bucks" hungry, but for families and individuals that are truly struggling. I can sit here in my nice warm house, in suburban Massachusetts, and wax and wane about my issues (umm, my toilet did explode this morning!) but bottom line? My children have food. I have food (have you seen my ass? Food is NOT my problem). So yeah, I made a donation. It's not going to shatter records for philanthropic giving, but it's something. I challenge you ALL to do something to make a difference in someone's life- you want to be hands on? AWESOME. Email me. I'll give you an organization to cook for. Donate food you've bought but won't get to. THINK about what you buy, and the waste we so often create. 

And if you are so inclined? PLEASE consider making a monetary donation to HungerworX. 

I'll climb off my soap box now, and go stuff my face with roasted beets. 

Guilt...the worst kind...MOMMY GUILT!

Admit it. If you're a mom, or hell, a parent in general, you have THE GUILT. The "my kid is wearing pajamas to school AGAIN" guilt. The "ummm, yeah, they ate Doritos in the car on the way to school but you would never know except for that orange mouth" guilt. The "I was SURE he brushed his teeth well" guilt. We all have it. If you are one of the lucky ones who doesn't hang on to it, I HAVE YOURS. I feel guilty over freaking EVERYTHING. Today little J wanted mac and cheese in his lunchbox, and even got it out of the pantry for me. I sent him to the playroom to pick his show and tell toy, and promptly shoved something else, which was already cooked, in his lunchbox.

And then worried about it. ALL. DAY. Almost nauseous. Yeah, my kid is fine. He doesn't really need the mac and cheese in his lunch box. For flip's sake, I would have felt MORE guilty had I made it for him, because the only one he eats is Wegman's Spirals. Surely it has no nutritional value, AND red dye, or yellow dye, or orange dye number five million in it. I would have bitten my finger nails to the nubs over the permanent damage I was causing. I would have even put it in a non-glass tupperware that would be swarming with BPA, or PPD, or BPD, or whatever it is that would SURELY be destroying his intestines.

Sigh. The real guilt though? I bought myself a new pair of shoes. Not any shoes, but a new pair of patent leather (with polka dots!) Dansko XP clogs. Yeah. They're not cheap. Never mind the fact that I have not purchased myself a pair of shoes other than clearance sneaks in THREE YEARS. I'm a teacher, and my little VivoFit screams at me daily, accusing me of falsifying the steps I take each day. Yeah, um, watch thingy? I'm a TEACHER. I hustle during the day! It happens! And my feet suck. Plantar fasciitis like CRAZY. I need good shoes. I can rock Crocs, which make me look like a Smurf, or Danskos. The Danskos I wear every day were a Christmas gift- in 2009. Oiled Patent Leather. I love them. They're adorable. THEY ARE FIVE YEARS OLD. They are showing their age. It was time. Still, I debated the purchase for almost a week. They sat in my beautiful little Amazon cart for AGES. Today, I got a notification that there was ONE. PAIR. LEFT. It was my time to ACT! To be DECISIVE! I clicked "checkout", and actually went through with it. Since then, however, the guilt has been in overdrive. That's five cases of pull-ups. A week of groceries. Three days of yogurt.

Then I had a little reality check. I have to GET. THE. FUCK. OVER. THIS. SHIT.  I have ENOUGH guilt. I still feel awful that I didn't stand in line myself to register my kid for kindergarten (even though it was literally JUST paper pushing)! Me feeling guilty changes absolutely nothing. I will be empowered to OWN my choices! I AM MAMA HEAR ME ROAR!

Snort. Who am I kidding? I'll still feel guilty, but wearing super adorable, new, orthopedic clogs.