In all things, give thanks...

It's Thanksgiving Eve- I would love to be all snuggled down with my boys, but they are with their dad. It sucks.  When choosing to get divorced I knew that this would happen, and that it would be sucky. Still better than the option!

So, breathing through the sucky, and enjoying the decorating of the adult tree, as we did the kid tree all together earlier this afternoon. My kids have finally gotten the concept and loved finding all of their yearly ornaments. It was awesome! So now I am cooking and baking, and doing all of the traditional Thanksgiving Eve things. The flip side of this is that the turkey I just basted isn't for me. The cookies in my car? Not for me either. Don't get me wrong, I have some yummy stuff that I will partake in as well, but they're the "side dish" to my day of giving thanks.

I am grateful that I can afford to buy a few packs of white socks for those who live on the streets.
I am grateful that I can afford to make a meal for those who cannot.
I am grateful that I live in a country whose icon of liberty is engraved with these lines:

"Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

I am grateful that I have the freedom to defend these lines against those who disagree (Ummmm, hello Governor?)

I am grateful that my life is full of people who feel the same.

I am grateful that my town has a whole parish of people who live their lives with similar ideals (I mean, really- check out the explanation of our "icon" of the flaming chalice).
I am grateful that I will be able to welcome my boys home Friday into a home that is warm, with a fully stocked fridge and pantry. 
I am grateful that we will make memories. 

Really, though, I am grateful to BE. I will always be indebted to my parents for being a living model of how to live life gracefully and with gratitude. When I was talking to my mom tonight and wailing about my boys' "gimme gimme" attitude she reminded me that I was the same way at their age- and that I grew to recognize the good that we all have in us- race, gender, class be damned. We are all humans, we all need help at some time or another- and that ties us all together. This holiday isn't about heading into a store to get awesome prices on something that we really don't need- it's about recognizing the good is us all, and doing what we can each do to better the world. That might just be by thanking whomever makes our coffee on the way to a big family dinner, or it could be passing out some warm socks to the panhandlers that approach our car as we dash to the store that is open to get extra cranberry sauce. 

I'm not saying that every person, everywhere, should eschew the creature comforts and family traditions- I'm just saying that we should be grateful that we have those comforts and traditions!

Remember that we all have a gift to give, and never doubt that one person can change the world, even if it's just the world of one person. Do good. Be kind. In the words of a pretty awesome Reverend, blessed be.

Looking back...

Today is November 9th. Four years ago, it was the last night, in my life, that I would be pregnant. At the time, I was mightily irritated because I was doing that 24 hour pee in a bucket test, to ensure that I wasn't developing pre-eclampsia- which, after delivery, when the tests were run, I wasn't. It was the last night we were three- daddy, mommy, and Mr. M. 

Here we are, four years later, and we're still three- Mommy, Mr. M, and J-Birdie. 

That fact should make me sad, but it makes me ridiculously happy. My boys are the center of my life- my heart waltzing around outside of my body. J has been many things- Shrimp, J-Dog, and J-Birdie... but he will always be my baby. J will grow, and change, and one day be a man- my man-baby. Heaven help any partner that he chooses...I may not be so kind!

The baby that made me strong, and willing to change my life. The baby that made me even stronger through his numerous health issues- I know more about kidneys, ear tags, hip dysplasia, air ways, and the deaf community than I ever though possible. When I learned he had 99% hearing loss, I was ready to communicate forever through sign. I was ready to do anything to ensure his health and happiness...thankfully, through a lot of changes in the home, and several surgeries, he's a fully hearing kiddo (97% according to his last screens- I'll take it). 

Tonight, I am grateful. I have been blessed with a child that is my mini-me- which at times, to be honest, really sucks. Stubborn as all get out, but then again, it's karma. A sweet, kind, boy- when given his birthday presents tonight responded with "Thank you mama, for making my birthday special". 

As my heart continues to live outside of my body in M and J, I am just so fulfilled. I love you, my babies, and I always will.