Pretty darn low

So I just can't get over this, and must vent publicly. I have been taking Shrimp to lots of appointments to figure out what is going on with his kidney- thankfully, at this point, it looks like not a whole hell of a lot, which is awesome. I want my kids' major organ systems to be dull, boring, and have a strong work ethic. No excitement, thankyouverymuch. We got referred to a major, well known hospital that specializes in children. Not naming names, obviously. Awesome doctors- some amazing nurses, receptionists and the like. The valet? Not so much. The first time we were there our appointment stretched on for hours. When the doc is on rounds you can't do much about it. You know he is meeting with families with far sicker kids than we have. Just like the hour and a half wait at ultrasound- it took forever because emergency cases were coming in. Most of the people waiting were hot and bothered and I sort of wanted to smack them. Really? Little kids are so sick they need emergency ultrasounds? How about you thank your lucky stars that y'all can sit around and wait? It irritated me to no end. So when you FINALLY get to leave you're pretty excited- this hospital is hopping and the valet is probably the busiest place around, given the large amounts of loading and unloading of strollers, wheelchairs, and the like. I get that. Waiting forty five minutes for my car to be driven around the block? REALLY? I could have driven all the way back home in that amount of time. The garage was a block away. Throngs of furious people just wanted to go walk and get their cars, but they wouldn't let us. GRRR. OK, that was just once. These things happen (apparently there was construction- but still, I could have walked around that block twenty times in the time it took for my car to get driven up, and I'm quite slow). Second visit, the one with the interminable ultrasound wait, was pretty great as we got superb news and I'm walking on sunshine all the way out. My car came up quickly, I tipped the guy $5 bucks because I am literally oozing rainbows. Until I realize that the valet guy, or someone else who had access, because maybe it's wasn't the same guy who brought my car, stole my Dunkin' gift card. I remembered to lock my GPS in the glove box, but the little gift card tucked in my console didn't even occur to me. I used it on the way to the hospital (remaining balance about $15), and just stuck it back in it's home. When I reached for it after leaving to pay for my celebratory turbo shot, I came up empty.

Stealing is wrong. We all know that. I do feel bad for Jean Valjean in Les Miserables as he's just trying to feed his family. I'm a sucker for someone who is hungry. I cook for my students regularly Sunday nights because they come in famished from a weekend of less than adequate nutrition. My husband brings home extras from his restaurant for them too. I have one student who actually takes some food home for his mom. The only reason I know is because the mom told me- he's pretty slick about it. I started accidentally bringing some extra in tupperware that he can just "finish later". Still, if you are that hungry that you are resorting to stealing, there are services that can help. Get help. Don't steal. Screw pride, take pride in providing for your family by asking for help. I digress- stealing from a hospital valet service seems pretty smarmy to me. It's the kind of thing I would expect more from a nightclub, or hotel. But a hospital? Where families with really, really, really sick kids go to potentially have their lives saved?

It makes stealing caffeine right out from under them even more despicable.

Addicted? Quite possibly.

These days I do daycare drop off- it makes the morning pretty ridiculous- hubs is up and out the door by the latest, 6:30 am. Sometimes the children are awake then, and sometimes not- luckily this morning everyone woke up and got dressed with a minimum of whining and tears. Good thing because there is an OPEN bottle of pinot in the fridge. Not something that would be at all helpful for my career advancement plans. In the car, and away we go. Everything is fine and dandy until I realized that I LEFT MY PHONE AT HOME. This would be no big deal to most people, but I have a serious addiction. Big time. That has been evidenced by the many things I could not do without it. In the span of three hours...

1. Pay bills. I can't pay bills without the app.

2. Email my boss about upcoming sick days. No calendar, so no way to know what days they are.

3. Check on an address I need to mail something to- FB is blocked and I can't access saved messages on it. 

4. Confirm the use of "QIS" in Scrabble for my honors ELA class. Yup, there's an app for that too.

5. Make my shopping list for the grocery store. Oh wait, I can. The Wegman's app will sync with my online account. YAY WEGGIE'S!!!!

6. Re-order the workbooks for third period- they have an app for that too- I just scan the bar code. 

7. Show a co-worker the video of Bubba wearing a box on his head and running into the wall.

Yeah, I'm an addict. I literally feel crippled without it.

Ha.

So a few times over the past few days I have had people tell me I look exhausted. I don't feel particularly tired, but apparently I sure look it. Really, if I had long enough to think about it, I probably could use a nap. Even garnering the time to have that thought seems to escape me. My boys are incredible, don't get me wrong, but wow, so needy! Shrimp is three months old- isn't he able to feed himself yet? I mean, REALLY! Let's rework those milestones- feeds self, dressed self, soothes self, changes diaper- those seem to be far more valuable skills than reaching for inanimate objects or turning his head towards a sound. What good do those things do me? Bubba is another story. While he CAN do things himself he is slam dunk in the middle of a super obstinate phase, where anything reasonable is intrinsically evil and will therefore not be done. Unless, of course, anyone else asks him to do it. Perhaps that's what I really need more than a nap- a total stranger that has only one purpose- to tell Bubba to put on his shoes, and get his jacket. NOT to run down the driveway to get to his girlfriend's house (which is another story completely- I really thought I had more time before THAT phase) and to get in the car when we leave daycare- as opposed to running into the muddy backyard and going down the slide into a puddle. Never mind the sight of me trying to catch him in wobbly work shoes while carrying the bucket. It's pretty ugly. Unless you somehow don't like me (which I think is probably impossible) and then it's HYSTERICAL.

So yeah, you could say I'm exhausted- aren't all moms?

Are we there yet?

That phrase is most commonly associated with long car journeys, but I have totally adopted it as a daily mantra. Are we there yet? Is is Friday yet? Is it vacation yet? I feel a lot like I am stuck on a hamster wheel and everything just keeps spinning. Really, maybe it's time to stop the world, I want to get off! Maternity world was so nice and relaxed- this working thing is making my life completely frenetic. I have to plan a trip to get groceries several days in advance or else it just doesn't happen. I have learned that I can get both children out of the house in about seven minutes, from bed to car. Granted, at least one child is still in their jammies, but I would say that is still a win. Maybe if I stopped oversleeping it wouldn't be as much of a problem! Morning is just SO EARLY. I think that kids should go to school from noon to five instead- then I could spend the morning actually being productive.

Until then, I'm going to stick to "are we there yet"?

Six vs. a half dozen

Mornings suck. Mondays, Tuesdays- it doesn't really matter. Getting both boys fed, dressed, and in the car in time for mommy to get an extra large coffee is a super challenge. Shower? Not most mornings. To do that I'd have to get up at like 3 am or something ridiculous. Bad enough we're up at 5 am. It totally makes me REALLY jealous of stay at home moms, who can leave the house whenever they have scheduled something to leave the house for. That said, I'm guessing they are jealous that I get to drop off the kids and go off for the day to work. There have been a recent slate of articles debating the value of a stay at home mom versus a working mom, and it's all really bullshit. Moms are ALWAYS working. It doesn't matter, moms are totally on call all day long. Even if we're at work the phone could ring and your kid could be puking and you are out the door. It's always on a day that you are dressed up for some meeting or whatever, which totally bites. Hello, dry cleaner. The middle of the night? Yup, on call. There aren't enough hours in the day to split some off for myself. What I wouldn't give for ONE HOUR to sit and sew. Not clean, no laundry, SEW. I've been doing a lot of that recently, and it's pretty fun. I wind up making a lot of stuff for girls. No need for a therapist to interpret that!

I vote that instead of daylight savings time (for how I really feel about daylight savings time,  check this out) we introduce mommy time. One hour a day that exists in an alternate universe so we can't be interrupted.