Who needs sleep?

So it's 5:30 in the morning and I'm milking cows...WAIT. No I am not. Sorry, a little Weird Al Amish Paradise slipped into my strain of consciousness. I am awake, and writing a blog post. I just read pretty much every post Rachel at Finding Joy has ever written- and she's a genius. I don't have the words to construct mommy life like she does. But I read her To the Tired Moms post and it struck a chord.

When is the last time you, as a mommy, have slept through the entire night? Seriously- NOT ONE WAKE UP? Even if your kids are champion sleepers (which mine are when we are following our regular school-home-sleep schedule) you wake up anyway, I am pretty sure. Whether it's to look at the monitor, or check on a little one- you wake up. When you're nursing and bed sharing, even if it's to roll over and pop a boob out, you wake up. If your kid coughs like maybe he'll puke- you wake up. If he's (tonights saga) calling mama and saying "Stuff Nose! Stuff Nose! Water squirter on pweeese! (little dude wanted his humidifier on, apparently) you wake up.

It's been four years for me. FOUR FREAKING YEARS. I spent four nights in the hospital after J's birth- even though he had quality time in the nursery at night, I still woke up to pump, or chat with my nurses. I wouldn't even know what to do if I slept ALL. NIGHT. LONG. I spent four years in college and three in grad school, and I was always so tired. YEAH RIGHT. That was cake. This is real life. There is rest, of course- I couldn't teach all day and keep the house moderately (that's a stretch but go with it) tidy if I didn't have rest. Even if that's twelve minutes face down on the couch while the boys play nicely (i.e. don't try to kill each other) with cars. Still, that's not a night of uninterrupted sleep. Honestly, at this stage, I don't have a clue how my system would handle it. I think I would freak out, completely.

But that's ok. I've adapted. I'm cool with it. My little nuggets of love are well worth it, even if they are snoring besides me, just to rub it in.

I wasted SO MUCH TIME.

Yes, when I was single, or even married, and childless, I just frittered away time. I have no clue what I did, but I was always up to date on Grey's and CSI. I think I must have just had numerous leisurely lunches. Now that I am a mama to two, I don't even know what I did with myself. Tonight is my big boy's first sleepover at his daddy's. He was so upset this morning- and it broke my heart.  Little baby J is back with me, and has reveled in singleton status, if just for a few hours. The first thing he did was search the house for "brudder". When he didn't find him, he made a beeline to the toys that big brother always hogs. His squeals of glee were hysterical! Dinner, a tubby, and a snuggle later, he's in bed. NOW WHAT? Little J helped me clean up from dinner, so that's done. Toys are picked up, kitchen floor washed. Gifts wrapped. Several gifts sewn. SO NOW WHAT DO I DO???? It's only 7:57 pm. Do I just go to sleep? About twenty minutes ago Mr. J got pretty cranky so I went to check on him. No big deal, blankie overboard. When I returned blankie to the crib I got the standard "Gank you mommy!". Thank you is totally his favorite phrase right now- and I love it. But Mr. J kept talking. "I wub you mommy! Hug?" Um, hell yes. As I sobbed into his luscious little curls, I couldn't believe that my baby was grown up enough to say that. J reminded me of the task at hand, and started fighting his way out of the hug requesting "Cwibbie night night! DOWN!". What can I say, he's a sleeper. That was the highlight of my evening, but remember, it's barely 8 pm. Now what the hell do I do with myself?

Oh wait, I know, glitter everything standing still.