I like free things. A LOT. So when my most recent big "purchase" (a swim & fitness membership) comes with two free training sessions, who am I to say no? I sign up with a lovely young man who showed me how to turn on the treadmill on day one. This should be fun, right?
HA. HAHAHAHAHAH. I am currently considering sleeping in my recliner so I don't have to walk upstairs. We start out fine, he wants me a little faster on the treadmill than I am used to- I feel like I almost have to trot to keep up, but that 15 minute warmup was totally doable, especially after I made it clear that I DO NOT RUN. Unless chased by a bear- but then, really, I'd be backing away slowly. He gets my humor, this should be ok. Next up some sitting down, and standing up again. I can do that for one minute, especially as it was never specified how long I could sit during the minute. (I'm kidding, of course, but I did point out that the lack of concrete directions would provide me with loopholes that I would gloriously love to extort). Then some arm weight stuff- my right arm can do fifty pounds and my left was quivering at 15. Whoops. Clearly, I'm right handed.
Then he wanted me to throw a weighted ball at the ground. Repeatedly. Um, ok. Then I had to chuck it at him, repeatedly. He was all "Pretend you're really mad at me and hurl it at me!" Me: "I'm a pacifist, this just seems wrong!". I did it anyway. Then the devil machine- the elliptical- "Just do it until you burn 50 calories!" Me: "Or until I fall on my ass because it makes me dizzy and hurts my knees." He laughed. I promptly fell off, twice. Point made, elliptical is done for the day, but he really thinks it would be good cardio for me...
On to some easy to use weight machines- I have already explored those and had a pretty good clue how to use them- my goal is building upper body strength, because I kind of want to learn how to play tennis, and arms are pretty important for that. All was good until the chest press- oh good god that fucker would not move. I never realized how weak my boobs were. Trainer man is all "just push through it, grunt away" while I responded with "I DON'T GRUNT!" I got it up and did the reps. Last machine was this calf press thing. He set the weight at 30. I laughed at him. I have calves of steel. It's really my only muscle that is on point- all those calf raises to soothe plantar fasciitis have done their job! He set it at 50 and dared me to do 20 reps. Snore. Cake walk. Eventually we're at 130 and it's still easy. By the time we settle on a good weight, 170, I've already done numerous reps at lower weights and still manage to bang out 30 good reps. I wish I had a camera for his face- it was priceless.
I'm still cool and collected (yet sweating like a piggie wearing wool in 90 degree heat) so he wants to mix it up- and suggests the rowing machine.
Oh honey, I love that. And I'm good at it. This kid is good- he's gotten to know me, appreciates my sarcastic humor and dry wit, and is even making notes on how to make good spanakopita (I guess his girlfriend is Greek)? He's figured out that I am "not competitive" and yet probably the most stubborn, competitive woman of all time. Which is probably the truth if I am forced to admit it.
So he challenges me. If I get to 1500 meters before he does, he won't make me do the elliptical next session (I get one more freebie) so game on. I will do pretty much anything to avoid that stupid ass machine. Took me six minutes. He was only at 1100. Ha. No more elliptical for me!
And I can barely move he kicked my ass so badly- can't wait until our next session.
UPDATE: Still hurting- still managed to do some slow laps today and am now slathered with Tiger Balm.
Thursday, July 20, 2017
Wednesday, July 19, 2017
The Most Spectacular Failure of a Restaurant EVER...
These past few days the kids and I have been on Cape Cod visiting Auntie. The kids have finally learned the difference between being IN Cape May and being ON Cape Cod. Took a few years! Monday we decided to head to Provincetown, where Auntie had vacationed as a child and is one of our favorite places to go. M went as a baby, but not since. Auntie and I frequent it, and have some favorites. We are usually there sans kids, and thoroughly enjoy Pepe's Wharf (get the crab and artichoke dip!) and The Mews (oh hello Lobster and Scallops!). However, with kids, it's a different story! Even though I've been really on the ball with exercise and food- losing ten pounds since my return from vacation number one- we HAD to have lunch at Canteen- they make the absolute best lobster roll I have EVER HAD. Butter, chives, in a brioche roll with a side of vinegary herby slaw- add some crispy brussel sprouts with fish sauce and it's just heaven. We had serious restaurant karma- second in line when we arrived, plenty of tables. Once we sat down the line was out to the street! M was brave and went for pulled pork tacos- they had some heat but he really enjoyed them. J wanted pulled pork too, but then refused to eat anything. No worry there, the pork was enjoyed! They do have hot dogs, and grilled cheese as well if you are traveling with kids. Auntie likes the cod Banh Mi, and gets that every time!
After our whale watch, it was time for dinner. J was super hungry, having refused to eat his lunch, and my stomach was growling. We thought about the Lobster Pot, but even at 5:30 there was a wait. Across the street is the Governor Bradford (which I can't even attach a link to as they don't have a website, yet have existed in P-Town for decades)- hmmm, kids meals ranged from three dollars to five dollars, the wine list was good, and we were sold. Seated right away, and our lovely waitress Alisha (unsure on spelling of course) came over. Since we were seated before 6 pm and it was a Monday, we could do the "Happy Hour" deal- buy one, get one half off on all entrees. Well, I like saving money, and so does Auntie. We ordered the boys their mac and cheese and hot dog kids meals (which come with a drink and a Hoodsie cup), and took a few minutes to decide. With a discount, we went for it- I ordered the pan seared one and a quarter pound lobster (pan seared- garlic and butter, as opposed to steamed) and Auntie ordered the shrimp, scallop and crab cakes topped with lobster. This was 6:07 pm. We received our drinks (wine for me, a margarita for Auntie) in record time, and the boys' meals were out by 6:15. The waitress was great with the kids, which I appreciated as they had definitely been quite cranky. We then overheard another waiter tell his table the kitchen was running slow, and to perhaps consider an appetizer. Hmmm.
Then we observed a couple leave their table and tell the hostess they were leaving as it had been 45 minutes. It wasn't super clear what that referred to- getting orders taken? Their meal? Sometimes tables slip through the cracks- we had already ordered and another waiter came to take our orders. Hmmmm. Communication clearly a weak point. However, boys were happy.
Then it was 6:45. When the waitress brought the boys their sundaes, she apologized again for the wait and said that a chef had called out, would we like soup or a salad on the house? She also refreshed my wine. We both got lobster bisque, and to say it was not worth discussing might be higher praise than it deserved. When the soup was delivered, we were told our drinks were on the house, as there was an issue in the kitchen. Ok then. Then it's 7 pm. The manager stops over to apologize and says our meals will be out momentarily. 7:10 pm. The bartender is rolling his eyes at us, and pours more wine into a plastic tumbler for the table. Auntie and I share. 7:15, the manager again- he's called the owner to complain about the infighting in the kitchen- I wanted a 1.25 pound lobster but they are out- so he says give her a 1.5 pound lobster. There is apparently super drama in the kitchen over that. Lots of screaming about tickets. NO TICKET NO FOOD. Umm, we ordered. I don't write the damn tickets. Never mind we have a clear view into the kitchen and we can see all the arguing. Manager informs us meal is totally on the house. 7:24, still no food.
Kids are engrossed in their tablets and Auntie and I at this point are playing a waiting game- we can grab pizza somewhere else, how long do we wait? Our morbid curiosity as to how it will play out has taken hold. Tables all around us have been in and out (including the table who was warned at the slow kitchen!) We decide 7:30 is our end game. When I go to use the restroom the manager thanked me for my patience- which I responded with a "too bad I write a blog that's pretty much only about food".
Return to table. It's 7:29 pm. There is no sign of food. All of a sudden, another glass of wine is plunked down before me. With the bottle. I look at the manager and say "We cannot possibly drink this, we haven't even gotten our food!". His response was brilliant- "well, the bottle is a screw top so you can take it with you". SOLD. Just as we were ready to leave at 7:38- the food arrived.
Sadly to say, it was delicious. And I will never go back.
P.S. Our restaurant karma returned- when we went to the Portuguese bakery for the fried dough it was JUST coming out the frier- and the most delicious thing I have had in a long time- M tried a bite and said "Mom, this just changed my life." I hear you, buddy.
After our whale watch, it was time for dinner. J was super hungry, having refused to eat his lunch, and my stomach was growling. We thought about the Lobster Pot, but even at 5:30 there was a wait. Across the street is the Governor Bradford (which I can't even attach a link to as they don't have a website, yet have existed in P-Town for decades)- hmmm, kids meals ranged from three dollars to five dollars, the wine list was good, and we were sold. Seated right away, and our lovely waitress Alisha (unsure on spelling of course) came over. Since we were seated before 6 pm and it was a Monday, we could do the "Happy Hour" deal- buy one, get one half off on all entrees. Well, I like saving money, and so does Auntie. We ordered the boys their mac and cheese and hot dog kids meals (which come with a drink and a Hoodsie cup), and took a few minutes to decide. With a discount, we went for it- I ordered the pan seared one and a quarter pound lobster (pan seared- garlic and butter, as opposed to steamed) and Auntie ordered the shrimp, scallop and crab cakes topped with lobster. This was 6:07 pm. We received our drinks (wine for me, a margarita for Auntie) in record time, and the boys' meals were out by 6:15. The waitress was great with the kids, which I appreciated as they had definitely been quite cranky. We then overheard another waiter tell his table the kitchen was running slow, and to perhaps consider an appetizer. Hmmm.
Then we observed a couple leave their table and tell the hostess they were leaving as it had been 45 minutes. It wasn't super clear what that referred to- getting orders taken? Their meal? Sometimes tables slip through the cracks- we had already ordered and another waiter came to take our orders. Hmmmm. Communication clearly a weak point. However, boys were happy.
Then it was 6:45. When the waitress brought the boys their sundaes, she apologized again for the wait and said that a chef had called out, would we like soup or a salad on the house? She also refreshed my wine. We both got lobster bisque, and to say it was not worth discussing might be higher praise than it deserved. When the soup was delivered, we were told our drinks were on the house, as there was an issue in the kitchen. Ok then. Then it's 7 pm. The manager stops over to apologize and says our meals will be out momentarily. 7:10 pm. The bartender is rolling his eyes at us, and pours more wine into a plastic tumbler for the table. Auntie and I share. 7:15, the manager again- he's called the owner to complain about the infighting in the kitchen- I wanted a 1.25 pound lobster but they are out- so he says give her a 1.5 pound lobster. There is apparently super drama in the kitchen over that. Lots of screaming about tickets. NO TICKET NO FOOD. Umm, we ordered. I don't write the damn tickets. Never mind we have a clear view into the kitchen and we can see all the arguing. Manager informs us meal is totally on the house. 7:24, still no food.
Kids are engrossed in their tablets and Auntie and I at this point are playing a waiting game- we can grab pizza somewhere else, how long do we wait? Our morbid curiosity as to how it will play out has taken hold. Tables all around us have been in and out (including the table who was warned at the slow kitchen!) We decide 7:30 is our end game. When I go to use the restroom the manager thanked me for my patience- which I responded with a "too bad I write a blog that's pretty much only about food".
Return to table. It's 7:29 pm. There is no sign of food. All of a sudden, another glass of wine is plunked down before me. With the bottle. I look at the manager and say "We cannot possibly drink this, we haven't even gotten our food!". His response was brilliant- "well, the bottle is a screw top so you can take it with you". SOLD. Just as we were ready to leave at 7:38- the food arrived.
Sadly to say, it was delicious. And I will never go back.
P.S. Our restaurant karma returned- when we went to the Portuguese bakery for the fried dough it was JUST coming out the frier- and the most delicious thing I have had in a long time- M tried a bite and said "Mom, this just changed my life." I hear you, buddy.
Saturday, July 15, 2017
Hunh. So that's where my muscles are...
I hurt. Big time. It's been six days since I've joined the club, and I have worked out five of the six days- Thursday the weather was grody and my legs were super sore from Wednesday. I figure taking a day or two off a week is not the end of the world. The scary part of the weather being gross is that I have had to utilize the "turf" portion of my membership. You know, that big scary room where there is a possibility for grunting and looking like an idiot- the fitness room. I have set my expectations extremely low- my goal is to not fall down. Hence my new workout shirt- "I have no idea what the heck I am doing, but nevertheless I will persist." Fit in nicely between the guy wearing the Bad Hombre shirt and the lady with the "Don't Blame Me I Voted for Hillary" shirt on the treadmills to either side of me. I have only had one mortifying gym moment (MGM) when I was doing leg curls (the kid where you are basically kicking your own ass and on your stomach) and I hit the lever which adjusted the leg piece making any angle for getting out impossible. Thankfully, someone I recognized from water aerobics was nearby and re-adjusted, so I could extricate. And it's worth it, because the shampoo and conditioner in the showers smells so good, and heck, it's not my hot water! Oh yeah, and there are no children trying to barge in...
That's really not too bad. Only one MGM!!!
I need more fun workout shirts- I got some great compression pant thingies, because they don't move around, which my thighs appreciate, but I like a lose cotton T. Thoughts thus far:
If Sarcasm Burned Calories, I Wouldn't Be Here
This Workout Powered by the Free Babysitting
Remember the Tortoise and the Hare? Yeah, I'm the Tortoise
But now? Now I hurt. Today I did a full surf and turf- gym first, then water aerobics. Go figure I did arms on the machines- and our instructor at the pool was apparently an arm guru. Can't not do it full out even though my muscles were on fire, so now. Well, I have learned all about where my muscles live. And all of their homes are pissed off at me.
Added bonus? Lifting sushi to my mouth was too painful to maintain, so I had a light dinner. Maybe that's why they always pair diet and exercise together??? If you can't physically lift the french fry, you certainly can't eat it. Even if your dinner companion dares you to lick the Yama sauce off the plate. That much bending over was out of the question.
Not that I would have done it. And yes, I hear you all laughing and doubting me. Seriously, I would not have done it. REALLY!
That's really not too bad. Only one MGM!!!
I need more fun workout shirts- I got some great compression pant thingies, because they don't move around, which my thighs appreciate, but I like a lose cotton T. Thoughts thus far:
If Sarcasm Burned Calories, I Wouldn't Be Here
This Workout Powered by the Free Babysitting
Remember the Tortoise and the Hare? Yeah, I'm the Tortoise
But now? Now I hurt. Today I did a full surf and turf- gym first, then water aerobics. Go figure I did arms on the machines- and our instructor at the pool was apparently an arm guru. Can't not do it full out even though my muscles were on fire, so now. Well, I have learned all about where my muscles live. And all of their homes are pissed off at me.
Added bonus? Lifting sushi to my mouth was too painful to maintain, so I had a light dinner. Maybe that's why they always pair diet and exercise together??? If you can't physically lift the french fry, you certainly can't eat it. Even if your dinner companion dares you to lick the Yama sauce off the plate. That much bending over was out of the question.
Not that I would have done it. And yes, I hear you all laughing and doubting me. Seriously, I would not have done it. REALLY!
Wednesday, July 12, 2017
Doctors are Pretty Amusing Sometimes...
So I had my yearly physical today- yesterday morning I went for my fasting labs- had to take the boys, as no on wants to babysit at 7:30 am. Hell, I don't blame them! It was just labs- so away we went.
First of all, we parked and got out of the car and it started to pour- so we are soaking wet piling into the elevator to go up the office. Commence fighting over who presses the elevator buttons- mommy wins because I am getting a needle in my arm. M and J were coaching me on how to handle this atrocity (which doesn't bother me at all). M's advice was that I kick the needle person in the knee because they were hurting me. J was practical- "Just do what Lali does and think about ice cream until it's all done." Frankly, I'd rather think about a charcuterie board, but same concept.
And then came the actual moment. I am chatting with Eric, my most favorite phlebotomist of all time- and don't even notice he's drawing blood, until I see two little jaws drop. They were OBSESSED with it. J wanted to lecture Eric on how to be careful not the let the blood oxygenate because then I would get false results (this has happened to him before- no, he wasn't having a heart attack at 3 months old- bad phlebotomist). Then again, maybe I'm a crap mom for actually discussing medicine with my little...M was really into keeping track of the tubes and wanted to make sure all the labels matched so I had the right results. Needless to say, it was harder to drag them out of the office than it was to get them in.
Fast forward to my actual appointment. Lovely Megan does my vitals and what not and leaves me to wait for the doc. OBVIOUSLY I am grabbing my file and reviewing my results. Hello, I am pretty capable when it comes to this stuff. Everything looks great- MCV is much lower than last year and in a happy range (I hate it when my red blood cells are all fat and stuff- stupid carbs)! Nothing in the abnormal range at ALL. I was actually miffed for a moment. I'm used to having some wacko number misbehaving. Last year it was the MCV, year before, creatinine. But wait, where is my A1C???? Being kind of a pain in the ass I left the room and went out into the office to ask. They don't even bother to ask me to put on a johnny anymore because I always refuse, so no worries, fully covered.
"WHERE IS MY A1C? I know you ordered one because I had gestational diabetes twice! It's NOT HERE!". Ensue confusion and scrambling and calling the lab.
Bottom line, lab forgot to print it. A1C is awesome. Once they figured all that out, went back into the exam room. My doc looks at me and said, "well, I guess I don't need to review your labs with you!". Nope. Listens to my lungs, checks my pulse, and woo, good to go. And then we spend twenty minutes gabbing about the best beaches in the US.
I love my doctor. I think anyone else would think I was bat shit crazy.
First of all, we parked and got out of the car and it started to pour- so we are soaking wet piling into the elevator to go up the office. Commence fighting over who presses the elevator buttons- mommy wins because I am getting a needle in my arm. M and J were coaching me on how to handle this atrocity (which doesn't bother me at all). M's advice was that I kick the needle person in the knee because they were hurting me. J was practical- "Just do what Lali does and think about ice cream until it's all done." Frankly, I'd rather think about a charcuterie board, but same concept.
And then came the actual moment. I am chatting with Eric, my most favorite phlebotomist of all time- and don't even notice he's drawing blood, until I see two little jaws drop. They were OBSESSED with it. J wanted to lecture Eric on how to be careful not the let the blood oxygenate because then I would get false results (this has happened to him before- no, he wasn't having a heart attack at 3 months old- bad phlebotomist). Then again, maybe I'm a crap mom for actually discussing medicine with my little...M was really into keeping track of the tubes and wanted to make sure all the labels matched so I had the right results. Needless to say, it was harder to drag them out of the office than it was to get them in.
Fast forward to my actual appointment. Lovely Megan does my vitals and what not and leaves me to wait for the doc. OBVIOUSLY I am grabbing my file and reviewing my results. Hello, I am pretty capable when it comes to this stuff. Everything looks great- MCV is much lower than last year and in a happy range (I hate it when my red blood cells are all fat and stuff- stupid carbs)! Nothing in the abnormal range at ALL. I was actually miffed for a moment. I'm used to having some wacko number misbehaving. Last year it was the MCV, year before, creatinine. But wait, where is my A1C???? Being kind of a pain in the ass I left the room and went out into the office to ask. They don't even bother to ask me to put on a johnny anymore because I always refuse, so no worries, fully covered.
"WHERE IS MY A1C? I know you ordered one because I had gestational diabetes twice! It's NOT HERE!". Ensue confusion and scrambling and calling the lab.
Bottom line, lab forgot to print it. A1C is awesome. Once they figured all that out, went back into the exam room. My doc looks at me and said, "well, I guess I don't need to review your labs with you!". Nope. Listens to my lungs, checks my pulse, and woo, good to go. And then we spend twenty minutes gabbing about the best beaches in the US.
I love my doctor. I think anyone else would think I was bat shit crazy.
Tuesday, July 11, 2017
On a Mission...still...
I am kind of at the frustrated stage- I have 14 months to lose some serious weight and become STRONG (physically- emotionally I am a beast). Found an awesome place where we have a "Surf & Turf" membership- pool and fitness, year round. The boys are in hog heaven- it reminds them of their beloved Beach Club, sans beach of course. I love the water fitness classes.
Today it rained. My kids still went to the kids' club on site (they wake up begging for it) and I was going to sit in my car and read for two and a half hours. And then I saw the people walking into the gym. Self talk ensued. This is dumb. I am sitting in my car. I am am wearing workout appropriate clothes that no one will laugh at. For bonus points, I am even wearing my NYSA coach shirt. SEE! I do SPORTS! I have sneakers. I might as well go in. So I did. And realized I didn't even know how to find the fitness center from the main entrance, or the locker room.
Old me would have fled. New me asked the ladies at the front desk what the heck I should do if I wanted to exercise. Well drat, she found a trainer and said "have a great workout!". Damn all these nice positive people.
They even have a sign on the wall that says "even experts were beginners once". Freaking positive reinforcement. And then the trainer showed me the treadmill. I could watch all the cable channels! And be on FB! And Pinterest! And read the newspaper! I could even select a view for my walking. I chose New Zealand beach walk, if anyone cares. An hour later, I wasn't dead. I did have a blister, as my feet don't like shoes with heels. Then this super lovely lady next to me said "Do you want to try the weight machines with me? I know you are new I can show you how". CRAP. Niceness (and an affinity for her adorable sneakers) won out over super anxiety at looking like a fool. Obviously I said yes. Forty minutes later I had managed to not fall off any machines, and found the spray and paper towels to wipe my germs off of them.
Bottom line, I didn't die. I do have a blister, and just spent way too much money on socks that will theoretically prevent that, as my new sneakers were fit to my feet by people who "know". Who knew there were socks that are specialized for exercise? That need to be line dried like my super boring and functional bras?? Well, now I know. And to add to it- I just ordered a high neck, no skirt bathing suit- I am finding doing laps with a skirt and cute tankini top is so freaking annoying. So watch out world, the thighs are coming out.
And I will go back tomorrow. At least for more water pilates- I need to wait for my new socks before I put on sneaks again...
Today it rained. My kids still went to the kids' club on site (they wake up begging for it) and I was going to sit in my car and read for two and a half hours. And then I saw the people walking into the gym. Self talk ensued. This is dumb. I am sitting in my car. I am am wearing workout appropriate clothes that no one will laugh at. For bonus points, I am even wearing my NYSA coach shirt. SEE! I do SPORTS! I have sneakers. I might as well go in. So I did. And realized I didn't even know how to find the fitness center from the main entrance, or the locker room.
Old me would have fled. New me asked the ladies at the front desk what the heck I should do if I wanted to exercise. Well drat, she found a trainer and said "have a great workout!". Damn all these nice positive people.
They even have a sign on the wall that says "even experts were beginners once". Freaking positive reinforcement. And then the trainer showed me the treadmill. I could watch all the cable channels! And be on FB! And Pinterest! And read the newspaper! I could even select a view for my walking. I chose New Zealand beach walk, if anyone cares. An hour later, I wasn't dead. I did have a blister, as my feet don't like shoes with heels. Then this super lovely lady next to me said "Do you want to try the weight machines with me? I know you are new I can show you how". CRAP. Niceness (and an affinity for her adorable sneakers) won out over super anxiety at looking like a fool. Obviously I said yes. Forty minutes later I had managed to not fall off any machines, and found the spray and paper towels to wipe my germs off of them.
Bottom line, I didn't die. I do have a blister, and just spent way too much money on socks that will theoretically prevent that, as my new sneakers were fit to my feet by people who "know". Who knew there were socks that are specialized for exercise? That need to be line dried like my super boring and functional bras?? Well, now I know. And to add to it- I just ordered a high neck, no skirt bathing suit- I am finding doing laps with a skirt and cute tankini top is so freaking annoying. So watch out world, the thighs are coming out.
And I will go back tomorrow. At least for more water pilates- I need to wait for my new socks before I put on sneaks again...
Thursday, April 20, 2017
Well, what now??
Hunh. It's "spring break". Other wise known as the week my kids are typically with their dad. Things change, people change, and that is no longer the status quo. I am trying really hard to let go of this- typically, I would be costuming a show for an awesome family theater company- but I had to let that go. I would potentially be having lunches and brunches with friends. Yeah, well, that's out.
Given that J is still just nine days post op- this year I was totally ok with keeping the boys with me. I didn't know how J would respond to surgery, if there would be complications. He did great, and was a miserable sack of sadness for a full seven days- again, anticipated.
Now I am understanding how some animals eat their young. I adore my boys- to the end of the universe and back again five thousand times. However, I think my brain might actually be melting.
That pretty much sums up my week.
Given that J is still just nine days post op- this year I was totally ok with keeping the boys with me. I didn't know how J would respond to surgery, if there would be complications. He did great, and was a miserable sack of sadness for a full seven days- again, anticipated.
Now I am understanding how some animals eat their young. I adore my boys- to the end of the universe and back again five thousand times. However, I think my brain might actually be melting.
That pretty much sums up my week.
Thursday, April 13, 2017
Medical Musings...and Calories....
So if you read my blog regularly, you know that my J had surgery this week at Mass Eye and Ear Infirmary. And yes, that's his surgeon in the picture. They are #1 in the nation for the second year in a row, and now I know why.
Arrival time was 8 am. With traffic, we left at 5:45 am and got there around 7:30. Checked in on the 10th floor, peds. Waited about twelve seconds and then we were called back- vitals checked, scrubs issued to me and J (who wound up never wearing them THANK GOODNESS! My kid has serious anxiety, especially around clothes). We were then assigned a ROOM. Like a real hospital room with a bed, and a bathroom, tv, nurses, windows, everything. J was completely enamored with the window shades and that amused him for a good hour. No sitting in a waiting room for 2+ hours. We could all have a home base.
April 11th was really hot in Boston. Nearly 90 degrees according to Hyperion, JB's trusty car. I thankfully thought ahead to the wearing of scrubs and wore leggings as opposed to a skirt. Thank goodness I did because those scrubs were unforgiving. Pants fit fine- but the shirt? I walked out to the nurses station to see Carlene the charge nurse- and she looked at me and laughed- "It's the boobs, right??". Yes indeed. This wonderful woman grabbed me a scrub shirt that actually allowed for boobs. Next challenge. Getting J into his hospital issue jammies- this resulted in a dose of Versed the last time he had surgery in November, as he HAD TO WEAR THEM. This time? Angelic charge nurse Carlene again to the rescue- "Doesn't matter- if it's stressing him out then forget them".
We just hung out until 10:10- then I took J down to the surgical floor in my appropriately fitting scrubs, and him in his regular shark t-shirt and green shorts. Pre-surgical was where the magic started to happen. The anesthesiologist happened. She got J. She saw the shark shirt and pulled out her phone and showed him a video she took scuba diving. He fell in love with her! Brianna the child life specialist happened. I totally anticipated the gnashing of teeth and the claws coming out- but she played with him on the floor while I put my booties and cap on. He got to smell all of the potential anesthesia scents, and decided on a smorgasbord of EVERY SINGLE ONE in his "scuba mask". I met with the surgeon, and then J climbed into a Power Wheels car and got to "drive" to the OR. If that isn't child centric, what is???
Upon entering the OR, the ugly started. J didn't want to lie down. So the lovely anesthesiologist pulled out her phone again, and played the scuba diving video- while Brianna gave him his "scuba mask"- no fighting, no fear- J drifted off and I was out the door.
Surgery felt like forever. It went very well, and it was discovered that his adenoids had developed a bacterial infection (like I had suspected) and were drastically impacting his breathing and ears- hence the sleep apnea and the frequent ruptures- they weren't from his ears but from pus and fluids trying to get out. Cue my total anger that the hospital in November told me "adenoids don't grow back". If they had LOOKED my kid could have been spared nearly five months of anxious misery.
Then PACU (post anesthesia care unit)- always the ugliest phase- when it's working it's way out of little bodies it's a lot like a WWE wrestling match. Hitting, scratching, biting, head butting- it took a few of us to keep J in the bed- and finally we went back to his room. It was still ugly there but NOTHING like in the PACU. The IV pissed him off to no end because it was on his thumb sucking hand. Eventually he calmed and fell asleep on me in the chair- he had tolerated some italian ice and a few sips of water. Kiddos have to stay on the floor for at least two hours upon release from the PACU- and once that time frame elapsed and he was still asleep JB went to find a nurse- so we could get that IV out while he was asleep. Apparently I was like the first parent ever to request this and the nurse was all "what a great idea!". IV out, still sleeping. Load into stroller, still sleeping (and I am super grateful I brought the stroller which has been sitting unloved for three years) and out to the car.
Bottom line, while J is still recovering and not feeling great, I am so FLIPPING impressed with the care he received at Mass Eye & Ear.
That said, my eating and exercise routine is in a tailspin- keeping under my calorie count for the day, but the exercise is a fail- and that's totally ok. This week has been about my kiddo and not my fat ass.
Next week, concerns over said fat ass shall resume.
Arrival time was 8 am. With traffic, we left at 5:45 am and got there around 7:30. Checked in on the 10th floor, peds. Waited about twelve seconds and then we were called back- vitals checked, scrubs issued to me and J (who wound up never wearing them THANK GOODNESS! My kid has serious anxiety, especially around clothes). We were then assigned a ROOM. Like a real hospital room with a bed, and a bathroom, tv, nurses, windows, everything. J was completely enamored with the window shades and that amused him for a good hour. No sitting in a waiting room for 2+ hours. We could all have a home base.
April 11th was really hot in Boston. Nearly 90 degrees according to Hyperion, JB's trusty car. I thankfully thought ahead to the wearing of scrubs and wore leggings as opposed to a skirt. Thank goodness I did because those scrubs were unforgiving. Pants fit fine- but the shirt? I walked out to the nurses station to see Carlene the charge nurse- and she looked at me and laughed- "It's the boobs, right??". Yes indeed. This wonderful woman grabbed me a scrub shirt that actually allowed for boobs. Next challenge. Getting J into his hospital issue jammies- this resulted in a dose of Versed the last time he had surgery in November, as he HAD TO WEAR THEM. This time? Angelic charge nurse Carlene again to the rescue- "Doesn't matter- if it's stressing him out then forget them".
We just hung out until 10:10- then I took J down to the surgical floor in my appropriately fitting scrubs, and him in his regular shark t-shirt and green shorts. Pre-surgical was where the magic started to happen. The anesthesiologist happened. She got J. She saw the shark shirt and pulled out her phone and showed him a video she took scuba diving. He fell in love with her! Brianna the child life specialist happened. I totally anticipated the gnashing of teeth and the claws coming out- but she played with him on the floor while I put my booties and cap on. He got to smell all of the potential anesthesia scents, and decided on a smorgasbord of EVERY SINGLE ONE in his "scuba mask". I met with the surgeon, and then J climbed into a Power Wheels car and got to "drive" to the OR. If that isn't child centric, what is???
Upon entering the OR, the ugly started. J didn't want to lie down. So the lovely anesthesiologist pulled out her phone again, and played the scuba diving video- while Brianna gave him his "scuba mask"- no fighting, no fear- J drifted off and I was out the door.
Surgery felt like forever. It went very well, and it was discovered that his adenoids had developed a bacterial infection (like I had suspected) and were drastically impacting his breathing and ears- hence the sleep apnea and the frequent ruptures- they weren't from his ears but from pus and fluids trying to get out. Cue my total anger that the hospital in November told me "adenoids don't grow back". If they had LOOKED my kid could have been spared nearly five months of anxious misery.
Then PACU (post anesthesia care unit)- always the ugliest phase- when it's working it's way out of little bodies it's a lot like a WWE wrestling match. Hitting, scratching, biting, head butting- it took a few of us to keep J in the bed- and finally we went back to his room. It was still ugly there but NOTHING like in the PACU. The IV pissed him off to no end because it was on his thumb sucking hand. Eventually he calmed and fell asleep on me in the chair- he had tolerated some italian ice and a few sips of water. Kiddos have to stay on the floor for at least two hours upon release from the PACU- and once that time frame elapsed and he was still asleep JB went to find a nurse- so we could get that IV out while he was asleep. Apparently I was like the first parent ever to request this and the nurse was all "what a great idea!". IV out, still sleeping. Load into stroller, still sleeping (and I am super grateful I brought the stroller which has been sitting unloved for three years) and out to the car.
Bottom line, while J is still recovering and not feeling great, I am so FLIPPING impressed with the care he received at Mass Eye & Ear.
That said, my eating and exercise routine is in a tailspin- keeping under my calorie count for the day, but the exercise is a fail- and that's totally ok. This week has been about my kiddo and not my fat ass.
Next week, concerns over said fat ass shall resume.
Saturday, April 8, 2017
Planning Ahead and Other Failures...
I always try to plan ahead- I like to know where I am going to be and what I am going to be doing WAAAAAY ahead of time. It kind of irritates some of my friends in October of 2016 I am trying to make plans for December of 2017- but then we score the good Polar Express tickets and everyone gets over it. However, with kids, I can't always keep to my plans. And I hate it. And that's ok.
Sometimes things don't work out. I am not spending my day as I anticipated, and I will handle that. I didn't lose another pound I gained one- and that's ok. I have been so super anxious about J's surgery that I slacked off on raw veggie prep- and that impacted my weight loss. And I know that, and guess what? That's ok.
Every day is a new day. For me, today, every veggie I chop and toss in the fridge is a choice- I am choosing to plan for what is going to be a very stressful, non-routine week.
The best I can do is plan for what I know, and be prepared to adjust. And that's ok.
Sometimes things don't work out. I am not spending my day as I anticipated, and I will handle that. I didn't lose another pound I gained one- and that's ok. I have been so super anxious about J's surgery that I slacked off on raw veggie prep- and that impacted my weight loss. And I know that, and guess what? That's ok.
Every day is a new day. For me, today, every veggie I chop and toss in the fridge is a choice- I am choosing to plan for what is going to be a very stressful, non-routine week.
The best I can do is plan for what I know, and be prepared to adjust. And that's ok.
Tuesday, April 4, 2017
Progress, I Think!
I get frustrated, a lot. And as much as I get frustrated, I'm not turning to food. That in and of itself is a major victory! That's not to say that I didn't thoroughly enjoy a Dove Dark Chocolate egg (or two) today. I sure did! It's stress season- MCAS, my school is having it's Department of Elementary and Secondary Ed review this week, my blinker bulb went out, J has surgery next Tuesday, and it's fucking raining like crazy. Gray and miserable!
I got a new scale today from my bestie, Amazon (make sure to shop through smile and donate to awesome places like PLANNED PARENTHOOD), so I promptly checked it out, and compared it to my old, non digital, crap scale. Bad plan. I was heartbroken. New fancy scale had me seven pounds up from old crap one. I may or may not have cried and gotten really pissed off. Then I sat and used my DBT skills- breathed deeply, recognized what I could observe in my surroundings- and got the fuck over it. Old scale may be off, but the loss remains accurate- even if the old starting weight is seven more pounds- I've still lost twenty pounds since February 19th. And that's epic. For me, weight has been an issue since adolescence. For me to lose 20 pounds in less than two months rocks. I know I will fluctuate, and some days it will be a 16 pound loss, and others 21 pounds. And that is OK.
I am changing my eating. I am changing my routines. I am putting more of a priority on exercise (which is still kind of a miniscule emphasis as the weather sucks and my kids are not so keen on the walks). When I don't walk I am at least attempting online workouts. Way more than I used to do!
My meals are still on point- granted, today was staff breakfast and I couldn't say no to the delicious breakfast pizza- I justified it by saying I would be very careful with the other meals. And then I was confronted with rice and cheese quesadillas. I had two pieces. And then had my super healthy lunch. And then thought I was actually dying due to my body saying "WTF???? Why did you give me all these carbs?". After a lot of burping, I felt fine, but I'm still not into dinner. While I didn't make the best choices today in regards to carbs and the lovely, wonderful dark chocolate- I'll still close out the day under my calorie goal.
That has to be ok for today. I can't beat myself up over it. I'm human and I have cravings and they will not just go away over night. The water consumption for me is key- when I have enough water, I don't struggle as much- but with MCAS, needing to go pee is a problem!
One thing that really helps keep me on track? Cooking. Seems counterintuitive, but for every batch of awesome veggies I make, I feel stronger. Today, it was spaghetti squash and I have curry cauliflower in the oven as we speak. Having healthy stuff at the ready makes it easier. Getting ready to chop like crazy and prep my CILANTRO FREE pico de gallo for the crab salsa. These foods make me happy, and are healthy, so I am excited to prepare them.
And really? Twenty pounds is no joke. I haven't dropped a size (but I can tighten my bra to the most tight option) and I am doing it. And will persist. September 22, 2018 may be far away- but I'm going to use that time to bust ass and be fierce.
I got a new scale today from my bestie, Amazon (make sure to shop through smile and donate to awesome places like PLANNED PARENTHOOD), so I promptly checked it out, and compared it to my old, non digital, crap scale. Bad plan. I was heartbroken. New fancy scale had me seven pounds up from old crap one. I may or may not have cried and gotten really pissed off. Then I sat and used my DBT skills- breathed deeply, recognized what I could observe in my surroundings- and got the fuck over it. Old scale may be off, but the loss remains accurate- even if the old starting weight is seven more pounds- I've still lost twenty pounds since February 19th. And that's epic. For me, weight has been an issue since adolescence. For me to lose 20 pounds in less than two months rocks. I know I will fluctuate, and some days it will be a 16 pound loss, and others 21 pounds. And that is OK.
I am changing my eating. I am changing my routines. I am putting more of a priority on exercise (which is still kind of a miniscule emphasis as the weather sucks and my kids are not so keen on the walks). When I don't walk I am at least attempting online workouts. Way more than I used to do!
My meals are still on point- granted, today was staff breakfast and I couldn't say no to the delicious breakfast pizza- I justified it by saying I would be very careful with the other meals. And then I was confronted with rice and cheese quesadillas. I had two pieces. And then had my super healthy lunch. And then thought I was actually dying due to my body saying "WTF???? Why did you give me all these carbs?". After a lot of burping, I felt fine, but I'm still not into dinner. While I didn't make the best choices today in regards to carbs and the lovely, wonderful dark chocolate- I'll still close out the day under my calorie goal.
That has to be ok for today. I can't beat myself up over it. I'm human and I have cravings and they will not just go away over night. The water consumption for me is key- when I have enough water, I don't struggle as much- but with MCAS, needing to go pee is a problem!
One thing that really helps keep me on track? Cooking. Seems counterintuitive, but for every batch of awesome veggies I make, I feel stronger. Today, it was spaghetti squash and I have curry cauliflower in the oven as we speak. Having healthy stuff at the ready makes it easier. Getting ready to chop like crazy and prep my CILANTRO FREE pico de gallo for the crab salsa. These foods make me happy, and are healthy, so I am excited to prepare them.
And really? Twenty pounds is no joke. I haven't dropped a size (but I can tighten my bra to the most tight option) and I am doing it. And will persist. September 22, 2018 may be far away- but I'm going to use that time to bust ass and be fierce.
Friday, March 31, 2017
Frustrations and Fears...
Yeah, I'm still here. Getting a much better handle on my anxiety which is good because J's pre-surgical anxiety is raging! Kiddo must be actually touching me during all waking hours when we are not driving in the car or he is at daycare/school/sleeping. The sleeping isn't even a gimme anymore- he's waking up a lot and needing me to be right there. For my sanity and my need to complete lesson plans, grading, and what not, many nights I have to bring him downstairs and he falls back to sleep at my feet. At this point, I have an air mattress in the office (which totally hinders my crafting when said child is actually in his bed) and just cross my fingers every night.
Getting a little frustrated though- depending on the day I have lost 12-14 pounds. That's awesome, and I know it. BUT I WANT TO LOSE MORE FASTER. Like every other person in the free world embarking on a weight loss path, I want to lose more NOW!
I have to relax, and recognize that this isn't an overnight thing- I am still changing my eating habits. I am still encountering new situations- like today. We had early dismissal, and I didn't have to get the kids for several hours. I adore my coworkers and it was lovely to have an opportunity to just have a drink and lunch with them. I knew my calories for the cocktails, so that was easy. The menu of food?? I stared at that sucker for a good twenty minutes. Our waitress was great- kept checking with the kitchen on calories, and the like. I settled on grilled boneless Maple Mustard "wings". They were really yummy- and I have enough left over for two protein servings on top of quinoa and roast veggies this weekend. I also had a side of the ever fantastic Grillo's pickles. FOUR CALORIES EACH. If you like pickles? Get these.
What is really frustrating me is my new craving to exercise and bust my ass. My children are not so into this. I want to haul around the neighborhood huffing and puffing to the Hamilton soundtrack with a few dance breaks in between. The kids want to slowly scooter and look at rocks and leaves. All awesome things- but they don't really go together.
My challenge for the upcoming weeks is to figure out a way to merge it all together. I need to figure out a way to get my outside/heartpounding workouts (I have lots of great workouts living in this crazy interwebs thingamajiggy but it just doesn't do it for me) in AND parent AND work. Not sure what that will look like- get a sitter every day after school? Find a gym with childcare that is reasonably priced (and J will actually go to without me)?
I don't have the answers yet, but I will. Nevertheless, I'll persist. For all of you that are following my journey- I know you'll persist too.
Getting a little frustrated though- depending on the day I have lost 12-14 pounds. That's awesome, and I know it. BUT I WANT TO LOSE MORE FASTER. Like every other person in the free world embarking on a weight loss path, I want to lose more NOW!
I have to relax, and recognize that this isn't an overnight thing- I am still changing my eating habits. I am still encountering new situations- like today. We had early dismissal, and I didn't have to get the kids for several hours. I adore my coworkers and it was lovely to have an opportunity to just have a drink and lunch with them. I knew my calories for the cocktails, so that was easy. The menu of food?? I stared at that sucker for a good twenty minutes. Our waitress was great- kept checking with the kitchen on calories, and the like. I settled on grilled boneless Maple Mustard "wings". They were really yummy- and I have enough left over for two protein servings on top of quinoa and roast veggies this weekend. I also had a side of the ever fantastic Grillo's pickles. FOUR CALORIES EACH. If you like pickles? Get these.
What is really frustrating me is my new craving to exercise and bust my ass. My children are not so into this. I want to haul around the neighborhood huffing and puffing to the Hamilton soundtrack with a few dance breaks in between. The kids want to slowly scooter and look at rocks and leaves. All awesome things- but they don't really go together.
My challenge for the upcoming weeks is to figure out a way to merge it all together. I need to figure out a way to get my outside/heartpounding workouts (I have lots of great workouts living in this crazy interwebs thingamajiggy but it just doesn't do it for me) in AND parent AND work. Not sure what that will look like- get a sitter every day after school? Find a gym with childcare that is reasonably priced (and J will actually go to without me)?
I don't have the answers yet, but I will. Nevertheless, I'll persist. For all of you that are following my journey- I know you'll persist too.
Saturday, March 25, 2017
Anxiety & Trader Joe's
I know I am not alone in having anxiety- everyone's manifests itself differently. Me? I feel a weird body twinge, and if it's anywhere in my legs, I am having a DVT and will die imminently. If it's in my shoulders, back, jaw, neck, chest, or arm, I am having a heart attack and will die imminently. If it's lower back or hips I am just so used to it I ignore it.
So it's Saturday, and since I have now lost TWELVE POUNDS eating this crazy me created diet and drinking water like a fish, it's time to re-up on veggies (and turmeric)! Off to Trader Joe's I go. Picture me whizzing down the frozen food aisle and feeling this little ache right in the middle of my right boob. Nevermind the fact that I added extra reps to my arm weight training this morning- I know this is it. My time has come. I'm clutching my boob and looking around for an AED, and am feeling really grateful that I am in the frozen food aisle, so if I can't be resuscitated immediately at least they can put me in the freezer case to protect my organs (to both increase my likelihood of survival and preserve organs for donation if that's it) while continuing compressions. This is majorly reassuring and I look around for someone else in the aisle to share my plan with.
Luckily there is no one there, because I am pretty sure I would have been fast-tracked to Behavioral Services at UMass.
Take deep breath. Can breath fine. No nausea. No hot flushed feeling. OK, so this is just me being an anxious wreck.
Drive home, unload the groceries, check my blood pressure. Higher than my baseline (I check every day, and it's been the same damn thing for nearly three weeks- a very healthy BP). So then I check again. And again. And the other arm. Still high. Now my left arm aches from repeated squeezing. Totally having a heart attack. Remember I had a slice of prosciutto with some fresh mozzarella for breakfast. Sodium city. Ahhhh of course- I've been so low sodium for weeks my body is like WOOOOO SALT! Say fuck it, take a Xanax. Amazingly, now my BP is a-ok. So that's how my anxiety manifests itself.
What it isn't doing however, is pulling me off track with eating. The whole stomach queasy bug thing derailed eating ANYTHING or drinking enough water (I never yakked just didn't want food).
I've learned a few more things that might be helpful for other people trying to make a change so I will share!
- If you like sausage/peppers/onions- the Thin and Trim brand of chicken sausages are really good, low calorie, low fat, and not awful for the sodium. Way better than the chicken sausage you can find at TJ's, or other markets.
- Turmeric is still a super food. Add some with cumin to any veg you are sauteing or roasting. For a kick, squeeze in some lemon juice.
- Kale is tolerable when sauteed with a lot of garlic, spinach, and swiss chard.
- Rosemary, thyme and apple infused water is like drinking stuffing. Not for everyone but I really enjoy it.
- Look at the calories on the TJ flatbreads- the ham, gruyere, and onion one is 130 calories per quarter, and both the mushroom and the tomato ones are 300-330 calories per quarter!!! The ham is my favorite anyway.
- There are three kinds of quinoa at TJ's and they all have the same calorie and fiber count.
- Don't eat grapes while driving. You will look everywhere for it, but inevitably step on it and ground it into your carpet getting out of the car.
And the recipe I am most excited about making this week is Chicken Satay Salad. WAHOO FOR NO LETTUCE! And thanks Catherine for the recipe tip!
That's it from here folks!
So it's Saturday, and since I have now lost TWELVE POUNDS eating this crazy me created diet and drinking water like a fish, it's time to re-up on veggies (and turmeric)! Off to Trader Joe's I go. Picture me whizzing down the frozen food aisle and feeling this little ache right in the middle of my right boob. Nevermind the fact that I added extra reps to my arm weight training this morning- I know this is it. My time has come. I'm clutching my boob and looking around for an AED, and am feeling really grateful that I am in the frozen food aisle, so if I can't be resuscitated immediately at least they can put me in the freezer case to protect my organs (to both increase my likelihood of survival and preserve organs for donation if that's it) while continuing compressions. This is majorly reassuring and I look around for someone else in the aisle to share my plan with.
Luckily there is no one there, because I am pretty sure I would have been fast-tracked to Behavioral Services at UMass.
Take deep breath. Can breath fine. No nausea. No hot flushed feeling. OK, so this is just me being an anxious wreck.
Drive home, unload the groceries, check my blood pressure. Higher than my baseline (I check every day, and it's been the same damn thing for nearly three weeks- a very healthy BP). So then I check again. And again. And the other arm. Still high. Now my left arm aches from repeated squeezing. Totally having a heart attack. Remember I had a slice of prosciutto with some fresh mozzarella for breakfast. Sodium city. Ahhhh of course- I've been so low sodium for weeks my body is like WOOOOO SALT! Say fuck it, take a Xanax. Amazingly, now my BP is a-ok. So that's how my anxiety manifests itself.
What it isn't doing however, is pulling me off track with eating. The whole stomach queasy bug thing derailed eating ANYTHING or drinking enough water (I never yakked just didn't want food).
I've learned a few more things that might be helpful for other people trying to make a change so I will share!
- If you like sausage/peppers/onions- the Thin and Trim brand of chicken sausages are really good, low calorie, low fat, and not awful for the sodium. Way better than the chicken sausage you can find at TJ's, or other markets.
- Turmeric is still a super food. Add some with cumin to any veg you are sauteing or roasting. For a kick, squeeze in some lemon juice.
- Kale is tolerable when sauteed with a lot of garlic, spinach, and swiss chard.
- Rosemary, thyme and apple infused water is like drinking stuffing. Not for everyone but I really enjoy it.
- Look at the calories on the TJ flatbreads- the ham, gruyere, and onion one is 130 calories per quarter, and both the mushroom and the tomato ones are 300-330 calories per quarter!!! The ham is my favorite anyway.
- There are three kinds of quinoa at TJ's and they all have the same calorie and fiber count.
- Don't eat grapes while driving. You will look everywhere for it, but inevitably step on it and ground it into your carpet getting out of the car.
And the recipe I am most excited about making this week is Chicken Satay Salad. WAHOO FOR NO LETTUCE! And thanks Catherine for the recipe tip!
That's it from here folks!
Tuesday, March 21, 2017
Ok, let's get real here...
My work is stressful. I work with kiddos grade 6-12 with disabilities. 99% of my time is spent in the MS with kiddos from grade 6-8. I adore my kids. They rock. Even when they are amazing, there is stress. Meetings, etc. I have that handled and work is my happy place. Today our art teacher set up an amazing paint class after school for staff. You know, like those paint night things? Only difference is that our wine glass had grape juice it in...I was ten minutes in- feeling super zen, enjoying spending time with my coworkers- and my freaking phone did the buzzy buzz. I ignored it the first time. Big kid was getting off the bus with Allison, so I knew he was good. Little was already with Allison. Grabbed a yummy snack and go ready to learn to paint some lilacs, my favorite flower. Looked at stupid phone. Big kid's school. THREE TIMES. That requires a call back, clearly.
Long and short? My kid puked. In the one space in the school with carpet. I feel like I need to send flowers to the custodian! Not just his usual someone did something gross gag, which is par for the course and I don't even get a call about anymore. A real, I am sick, puke. Sigh. Leave happy Zen paint class to get kid, who is fairly miserable but not horrible. Get kid #2. Go home. Kid #1 falls asleep on the couch, only to get up and get sick EVERYWHERE. On the few square feet of carpet I own. Sigh. Not fun. Put him to bed and now kid #2 won't go to sleep. My brain is shorting out because I need to generate and email sub plans, and figure out how to work meetings via phone- how fast can I hit the mute button if vomit occurs?? (EDITED: he totally puked during the meeting and no one heard it).He's finally asleep after two hours of snuggling.
I so want to go to bed. And I can't. I have reports to read, exercise to do, more onions to saute (because god forbid I don't get my serving of turmeric onions in a day!), and more reports to read.
Why so many reports? Both kiddos have their initial IEP meetings Thursday.
Honestly, I just want to go to sleep. I am still chugging my water- I got my 165 ounces in today, and am feeling good. I am just going with that for tonight. Fingers crossed I wake up with still only one puking family member!
And a lovely update- Kid #2 fell to the puke bug Wednesday night, with his mama right behind on Thursday. Thankfully, it was a fast moving bug.
Long and short? My kid puked. In the one space in the school with carpet. I feel like I need to send flowers to the custodian! Not just his usual someone did something gross gag, which is par for the course and I don't even get a call about anymore. A real, I am sick, puke. Sigh. Leave happy Zen paint class to get kid, who is fairly miserable but not horrible. Get kid #2. Go home. Kid #1 falls asleep on the couch, only to get up and get sick EVERYWHERE. On the few square feet of carpet I own. Sigh. Not fun. Put him to bed and now kid #2 won't go to sleep. My brain is shorting out because I need to generate and email sub plans, and figure out how to work meetings via phone- how fast can I hit the mute button if vomit occurs?? (EDITED: he totally puked during the meeting and no one heard it).He's finally asleep after two hours of snuggling.
I so want to go to bed. And I can't. I have reports to read, exercise to do, more onions to saute (because god forbid I don't get my serving of turmeric onions in a day!), and more reports to read.
Why so many reports? Both kiddos have their initial IEP meetings Thursday.
Honestly, I just want to go to sleep. I am still chugging my water- I got my 165 ounces in today, and am feeling good. I am just going with that for tonight. Fingers crossed I wake up with still only one puking family member!
And a lovely update- Kid #2 fell to the puke bug Wednesday night, with his mama right behind on Thursday. Thankfully, it was a fast moving bug.
Monday, March 20, 2017
Well isn't this EXCITING!
Um, well, I broke my rule of two scale days in a row. Glad I did though because I am now down TEN POUNDS. That's a real amount of weight. I know weight fluctuates from day to day and it's ok if tomorrow I get on the scale and it's gone up a smidge. Not going to freak over it.
My point is that if I can do that- anyone can. I have zero willpower and am pretty damn lazy.
Turning point? It's the water. I will preach that until the day I die (which is now getting further and further away- thank goodness) drink half your body weight, in ounces, of water. If I ate a potato chip now (and I LOVE CHIPS) it's too salty and I go YUCK. I am still enjoying some tortilla chips, the healthy grainy ones with my salsa, but that's pretty much my only junky food. Oh, and I had three Hershey's kisses today. Guess what? That's not going to change my course.
I have heard from so many of you, telling me I am inspirational, or whatnot. I am THRILLED that I can be inspirational to others- frankly, I'm just a mom. A single mom, super busy and super focused on my kids. AND I can do that and focus on me more. I don't have to choose. Well, most of the time. Today M refused to go on a walk with me and my lovely neighbor so I left- I said "be back soon!" and you better believe he hightailed it out of the house and joined in. I wouldn't have actually left him home alone, but I had to front like I would. He had a blast, scootered all the way. I had some huffing and puffing moments- with a slight incline. Didn't help that J was "biking" on his trike- which really translates to him sitting on it while I push. At least I moved my body!!!
And seriously people, drink the damn water. I challenge you!
Oh and a delicious recipe if you want to mix up your egg cups in the am-
Saute onions, peppers, tomatoes with some cumin and cayenne. Whisk your eggs with additional cayenne and cumin (or your egg substitute). Pop veg into each muffin cup (that has been sprayed with Pam) and pour eggs in. Top with a small pinch of Mexican blend shredded cheese, and bake at 350 for 15 minutes or until eggs are set. Serve with salsa or fresh avocado!
My point is that if I can do that- anyone can. I have zero willpower and am pretty damn lazy.
Turning point? It's the water. I will preach that until the day I die (which is now getting further and further away- thank goodness) drink half your body weight, in ounces, of water. If I ate a potato chip now (and I LOVE CHIPS) it's too salty and I go YUCK. I am still enjoying some tortilla chips, the healthy grainy ones with my salsa, but that's pretty much my only junky food. Oh, and I had three Hershey's kisses today. Guess what? That's not going to change my course.
I have heard from so many of you, telling me I am inspirational, or whatnot. I am THRILLED that I can be inspirational to others- frankly, I'm just a mom. A single mom, super busy and super focused on my kids. AND I can do that and focus on me more. I don't have to choose. Well, most of the time. Today M refused to go on a walk with me and my lovely neighbor so I left- I said "be back soon!" and you better believe he hightailed it out of the house and joined in. I wouldn't have actually left him home alone, but I had to front like I would. He had a blast, scootered all the way. I had some huffing and puffing moments- with a slight incline. Didn't help that J was "biking" on his trike- which really translates to him sitting on it while I push. At least I moved my body!!!
And seriously people, drink the damn water. I challenge you!
Oh and a delicious recipe if you want to mix up your egg cups in the am-
Saute onions, peppers, tomatoes with some cumin and cayenne. Whisk your eggs with additional cayenne and cumin (or your egg substitute). Pop veg into each muffin cup (that has been sprayed with Pam) and pour eggs in. Top with a small pinch of Mexican blend shredded cheese, and bake at 350 for 15 minutes or until eggs are set. Serve with salsa or fresh avocado!
Saturday, March 18, 2017
One thing ticked off the list...
So, if you follow my blog, you know that I have challenged myself to lose 130 pounds. I'm drinking lots of water- average is between 130-165 ounces a day. Yes, that's safe. Even if I was only awake for ten hours a day, my kidneys can healthily process 300 ounces a day. I'm nowhere near that, so I don't need a lecture on hyponatremia.
After three weeks of a drastically changed diet, I have lost five pounds. I'm not counting the ten I lost of February break. Several people have asked what program I am using- my answer is simple "Ummm, eating less crap?". That's an understatement. I am eating tons of veggies, and lean proteins, and about 60-90g of carbs a day- the crappy processed kind like pretzels, or tortilla chips (I love salsa- have to dip something in it and carrots just don't do it). Keeping an eye on sodium and saturated fats, of course, and sugar. I did really enjoy some watermelon gummy bears yesterday though. I have a bag of Shakeology in my cabinet, and the Pink Drink by Plexus, and some other things around- and haven't used them. I don't know if I will- they kind of scare me.
And that's just it. It's not realistic for me to think that I am never going to have any one food group (carbs!) or treat again. When I go to Ft. Lauderdale, I am going to eat as much crab salsa as I can, and taramosalata, Greek salads, and lots of melitzanosalata. And you know what? I lost ten pounds the last time I was there for five days. Maybe I should eat that stuff MORE.
I'm going to go to Cape May and eat deviled eggs at the Virginia alongside a delicious cocktail. I will surely eat more slices of Louie's Pizza with ricotta and spinach. Lobster is always going to be in my life. I will visit Seafood Sam's on the Cape and thoroughly enjoy my fried food spectacular.
And you know what? That is FINE. The rest of the time I am being very aware of what I put in my body. It's just five pounds, but I'm pretty pleased with myself. I was at a kid birthday party today and yes, I finished my kid's hot dog, and had a handful of popcorn. AND the mama was a smartie pants and had a fabulous veggie platter. I ate a LOT of veggies. I'm going to have a few gals over tonight and wine will be drunk, and I have fresh eggplant dip (no oil, just smoky delicious roasted eggplant blended with garlic), some salsa, and fruit. It will be just as much fun as any other gathering, but a lot healthier.
What is really amazing to me, thus far? The support. From everyone. I always have it from close friends and my family, of course, but people are coming out of the woodwork to help hold me accountable- and I'm grateful, because that is EXACTLY what I need.
So five pounds. 125 to go. I have 552 days!
After three weeks of a drastically changed diet, I have lost five pounds. I'm not counting the ten I lost of February break. Several people have asked what program I am using- my answer is simple "Ummm, eating less crap?". That's an understatement. I am eating tons of veggies, and lean proteins, and about 60-90g of carbs a day- the crappy processed kind like pretzels, or tortilla chips (I love salsa- have to dip something in it and carrots just don't do it). Keeping an eye on sodium and saturated fats, of course, and sugar. I did really enjoy some watermelon gummy bears yesterday though. I have a bag of Shakeology in my cabinet, and the Pink Drink by Plexus, and some other things around- and haven't used them. I don't know if I will- they kind of scare me.
And that's just it. It's not realistic for me to think that I am never going to have any one food group (carbs!) or treat again. When I go to Ft. Lauderdale, I am going to eat as much crab salsa as I can, and taramosalata, Greek salads, and lots of melitzanosalata. And you know what? I lost ten pounds the last time I was there for five days. Maybe I should eat that stuff MORE.
I'm going to go to Cape May and eat deviled eggs at the Virginia alongside a delicious cocktail. I will surely eat more slices of Louie's Pizza with ricotta and spinach. Lobster is always going to be in my life. I will visit Seafood Sam's on the Cape and thoroughly enjoy my fried food spectacular.
And you know what? That is FINE. The rest of the time I am being very aware of what I put in my body. It's just five pounds, but I'm pretty pleased with myself. I was at a kid birthday party today and yes, I finished my kid's hot dog, and had a handful of popcorn. AND the mama was a smartie pants and had a fabulous veggie platter. I ate a LOT of veggies. I'm going to have a few gals over tonight and wine will be drunk, and I have fresh eggplant dip (no oil, just smoky delicious roasted eggplant blended with garlic), some salsa, and fruit. It will be just as much fun as any other gathering, but a lot healthier.
What is really amazing to me, thus far? The support. From everyone. I always have it from close friends and my family, of course, but people are coming out of the woodwork to help hold me accountable- and I'm grateful, because that is EXACTLY what I need.
So five pounds. 125 to go. I have 552 days!
Sunday, March 12, 2017
I'm NOT Broken!
It has been a week since I started tracking all of the things that went into my body- the water (averaging 140 oz a day- above my goal of 135 WOO), the food, the negativity- and while the scale hasn't budged I feel a lot lighter- emotionally lighter.
Things that I have learned this week: (and all recipes will be below)
1. I love turmeric onions. I went through a five pound bag of onions in one week. I put them on everything.
2. My tomato sauce is super low calorie and has no sodium or sugar. And is freaking delicious.
3. I can have an awesome girl's night in with the most delicious dill dip ever made by my new neighbor, who is fantastic and I am so glad she bought Hannah & Pepe's house. The key was using mostly the fresh vegetables to dip in it, and keeping calories way low the rest of the day.
4. Wine has calories. If it's the MOST delicious sangria I have ever had, in the cutest, best designed bottles EVER, every calorie is worth it.
5. I'm not broken, so I'm not going to buy into something that will "fix" me (I heartily dislike that implication, even if whatever program it is focuses on the right things like portion control). Seriously, 19 emails from a variety of companies claiming to be able to "fix" my fat. I don't need glue, kids, I need long term change.
6. Beach Body On Demand does not mean that when you press play you suddenly have a beach body. (c'mon, it said ON DEMAND!)
7. It's too damn cold to go for a walk when it is 12 degrees. Kudos to all the runners I saw out there. Keep on going. Without me.
8. Red egg cookers are adorable and very, very, helpful. It made me the most perfect poached egg this morning, which I thorough enjoyed over a bed of roasted brussel sprouts and eggplant.
9. Be aware when you eat a lot of the red beets. When you use the bathroom you will be fairly sure that you have a tapeworm and are bleeding out.
10. Boobs can glow, given a strong flashlight and some other key things. Don't even ask.
And most importantly, I have surrounded myself with the most incredibly supportive people on the planet. Everyone is asking how they can support me, in real time. I'm grateful, and humbled.
Turmeric Onions
3 sweet onions sliced
1 tbsp olive oil
2-3 tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp cumin
1/4-1//2 tsp turmeric
Mix it all together and saute over medium heat until soft and starting to caramelize. Refrigerate. Delicious on salads, with eggs, with a fork....
Healthy Sauce
2 tiny tomato paste cans (I think 6 oz)
2 medium no salt added tomato sauce cans (I used Hunt's- I think 14 oz or so?)
2 large tomato puree cans
Seasonings of your choice- I add Italian seasoning, lots of garlic powder, lots of onion powder, and sometimes a tiny pinch of dill because I am weird. I have also added a bay leave, and removed before serving. If you are adding salt, that will obviously impact your sodium level.
That's it. Toss it in a stock pot and let simmer.
Things that I have learned this week: (and all recipes will be below)
1. I love turmeric onions. I went through a five pound bag of onions in one week. I put them on everything.
2. My tomato sauce is super low calorie and has no sodium or sugar. And is freaking delicious.
3. I can have an awesome girl's night in with the most delicious dill dip ever made by my new neighbor, who is fantastic and I am so glad she bought Hannah & Pepe's house. The key was using mostly the fresh vegetables to dip in it, and keeping calories way low the rest of the day.
4. Wine has calories. If it's the MOST delicious sangria I have ever had, in the cutest, best designed bottles EVER, every calorie is worth it.
5. I'm not broken, so I'm not going to buy into something that will "fix" me (I heartily dislike that implication, even if whatever program it is focuses on the right things like portion control). Seriously, 19 emails from a variety of companies claiming to be able to "fix" my fat. I don't need glue, kids, I need long term change.
6. Beach Body On Demand does not mean that when you press play you suddenly have a beach body. (c'mon, it said ON DEMAND!)
7. It's too damn cold to go for a walk when it is 12 degrees. Kudos to all the runners I saw out there. Keep on going. Without me.
8. Red egg cookers are adorable and very, very, helpful. It made me the most perfect poached egg this morning, which I thorough enjoyed over a bed of roasted brussel sprouts and eggplant.
9. Be aware when you eat a lot of the red beets. When you use the bathroom you will be fairly sure that you have a tapeworm and are bleeding out.
10. Boobs can glow, given a strong flashlight and some other key things. Don't even ask.
And most importantly, I have surrounded myself with the most incredibly supportive people on the planet. Everyone is asking how they can support me, in real time. I'm grateful, and humbled.
Turmeric Onions
3 sweet onions sliced
1 tbsp olive oil
2-3 tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp cumin
1/4-1//2 tsp turmeric
Mix it all together and saute over medium heat until soft and starting to caramelize. Refrigerate. Delicious on salads, with eggs, with a fork....
Healthy Sauce
2 tiny tomato paste cans (I think 6 oz)
2 medium no salt added tomato sauce cans (I used Hunt's- I think 14 oz or so?)
2 large tomato puree cans
Seasonings of your choice- I add Italian seasoning, lots of garlic powder, lots of onion powder, and sometimes a tiny pinch of dill because I am weird. I have also added a bay leave, and removed before serving. If you are adding salt, that will obviously impact your sodium level.
That's it. Toss it in a stock pot and let simmer.
Sunday, March 5, 2017
WOW. Here's an eye opener for ya...
I have been super dedicated this week- got my water in (135 ounces a day, at the least- until today- Sunday may be my kryptonite with water), monitored calories using the My Fitness Pal app, and have not lost an ounce. It's coming, I know it is. I also haven't gained any weight- which brings me to my point. While I didn't get all of my water in today I ate very cleanly- veggies and hard boiled egg for breakfast- grand total of 178 calories. Lunch? Much of the same, add chicken breast, 296 calories. Snack of Cheez-its because hello? Sometimes you need a cheesy crunch and that was 150 calories (I counted them and trusted the box nutritional information!). That's about 650 calories. Based on my current weight, I am "allowed" 1,700 calories a day. So I theoretically have 1,050 calories for dinner.
If I ate that much, I would puke my guts up.
I am looking forward to my Trader Joe's flatbread with ham, gruyere and caramelized onions, don't get me wrong. Add my balsamic glaze (1 tbsp) and that's a whopping 310 calories. Add extra turmeric onions on top- adds 30 calories. So dinner will be 340 calories.
That still leaves me WAY below my goal for the day- and I think that's not ok. I think that may make my body think it's starving. I don't feel hungry, and yet, I still need to provide the appropriate level of nutrients!
This eating healthy shit is hard. I'm confused. I need to get a better handle at incorporating healthy carbs, and lean proteins.
That said, I'm still pretty freaking proud of myself.
If I ate that much, I would puke my guts up.
I am looking forward to my Trader Joe's flatbread with ham, gruyere and caramelized onions, don't get me wrong. Add my balsamic glaze (1 tbsp) and that's a whopping 310 calories. Add extra turmeric onions on top- adds 30 calories. So dinner will be 340 calories.
That still leaves me WAY below my goal for the day- and I think that's not ok. I think that may make my body think it's starving. I don't feel hungry, and yet, I still need to provide the appropriate level of nutrients!
This eating healthy shit is hard. I'm confused. I need to get a better handle at incorporating healthy carbs, and lean proteins.
That said, I'm still pretty freaking proud of myself.
Saturday, March 4, 2017
People are Good, and Kind. And then there's those other weirdos...
This is really an update on yesterday's blog post. I have received a tremendous amount of support, from all over the world- who knew that people in Thailand were reading my blog? Well, they are. And they send messages. 99% of the feed back I have received has been incredible. And then there is that 1%. "Why are you putting your personal business out there for others to see?" Oh, and "Your issues should be private!".
You know what? I put it out there because I am alone, and yet NOT alone. I am a single mom. I am busting my ass to raise my boys to be good people. I work hard to ensure that my students leave my classroom feeling good about their accomplishments. I have more support from my family than anyone could dream of, and I am ridiculously grateful. I have awesome friends, who are ready and willing to support me- when I actually communicate what I need (my biggest character flaw- I suck at asking for help, but I am getting much better at it). This is a way of me being real, and acknowledging that I DO need support, that I can't do it alone.
I have every privilege than anyone could dream of. I am not worried about providing meals- and trust me, I know how blessed I am. However, what I don't have is accountability. I don't have someone else right alongside me, in the moment, encouraging me to make a healthier choice. There is no one keeping tabs on whether I worked out or didn't. No one is riding in my car when I drive past Wendy's (I drive past other fast food joints, but I don't really like them like I do Wendy's). My doctor, as fantastic as she is, isn't micro managing me (she knows I need to lose weight but is impressed as I am the healthiest fattie she knows [totally my words- she would NEVER use that term]). I know myself, and I know what I need to succeed. I need PRESSURE. And that is why I am being completely transparent about my struggle and my journey. I have worked with students who have Type 1 diabetes, a peanut allergy, or Celiac's. Everyone is aware, and we work together to support those kiddos to the best of our ability. I am by no means trivializing these conditions- merely saying that there are going to be days, even weeks, where I need similar support.
So yes, I am an over-sharer. And if that over-sharing helps me reach my goals, for my children? Then so be it. I'm a wee bit Machiavellian- the end totally justifies the means....
You know what? I put it out there because I am alone, and yet NOT alone. I am a single mom. I am busting my ass to raise my boys to be good people. I work hard to ensure that my students leave my classroom feeling good about their accomplishments. I have more support from my family than anyone could dream of, and I am ridiculously grateful. I have awesome friends, who are ready and willing to support me- when I actually communicate what I need (my biggest character flaw- I suck at asking for help, but I am getting much better at it). This is a way of me being real, and acknowledging that I DO need support, that I can't do it alone.
I have every privilege than anyone could dream of. I am not worried about providing meals- and trust me, I know how blessed I am. However, what I don't have is accountability. I don't have someone else right alongside me, in the moment, encouraging me to make a healthier choice. There is no one keeping tabs on whether I worked out or didn't. No one is riding in my car when I drive past Wendy's (I drive past other fast food joints, but I don't really like them like I do Wendy's). My doctor, as fantastic as she is, isn't micro managing me (she knows I need to lose weight but is impressed as I am the healthiest fattie she knows [totally my words- she would NEVER use that term]). I know myself, and I know what I need to succeed. I need PRESSURE. And that is why I am being completely transparent about my struggle and my journey. I have worked with students who have Type 1 diabetes, a peanut allergy, or Celiac's. Everyone is aware, and we work together to support those kiddos to the best of our ability. I am by no means trivializing these conditions- merely saying that there are going to be days, even weeks, where I need similar support.
So yes, I am an over-sharer. And if that over-sharing helps me reach my goals, for my children? Then so be it. I'm a wee bit Machiavellian- the end totally justifies the means....
Friday, March 3, 2017
Well here we go! Are you along for the ride?
It's time. This blog has been with me through divorce, childbirth, exploding toilets, daylight savings times- and all the other bits and bobs.
Now shit is getting real. I am almost38 39 years old (seriously, I had to think about that). I love food. I love to cook. I love a good glass of wine. I love my kids MORE. I love my family MORE than I love scallops wrapped in bacon. I am not getting younger. My kids are 7 and 5- my little, J, has conductive hearing loss and we are learning sign, and struggling with the anxiety associated with it. Every minute while he is awake and we are home he says "Mama, where are you?" if I am not directly in front of him. He has a great therapist, and we have an amazing team- and he'll be having more surgery in a few weeks, which should return hearing in both ears to a mild loss. Still, he needs me, in an heartwrenching way. I went to bathroom today and failed to tap him on the shoulder, and say "mommy is going to pee"- the tears and epic meltdown took twenty minutes to manage, as opposed to the 30 seconds it took me to pee.
That said, I'm almost 39. I am fat. I have had gastric bypass. Not a lot of people know that. It was in 2005 and I lost 100 pounds. Then I met a man, got married, got pregnant, gained 90 pounds. Had baby M. Lost 50. Moved. Got pregnant. Gained 20 pounds. Had baby J. Lost 10 pounds. Got divorced, thus losing multiple emotional pounds. Joined the PTO. Focused on raising two boys solo. Took amazing steps with my career. Started coaching soccer. Lost myself. Became so paranoid about dying I have had 5 EKG's in three months (all totally normal). While this fear is helping me meet my deductible, every twinge I feel in my arm or jaw is not me having a heart attack, but a manifestation of my anxiety. However, if I don't make really significant changes, my kids could be waking up next to my cold, dead, body. Yes, That's horrible to say. It's something no mom wants for her kids. And I refuse to let that happen.
Now, it's my time. I'm going to use foul language here, so if your five year old is extremely precocious and can read, tell them to go fuck off for a second. Oops. Already dropped an eff bomb.
I am NOT GIVING AWAY MY SHOT (thanks Lin-Manuel Miranda)! This is MY DAY. This is MY CHOICE. And yes, I am choosing rabbit food. Today for lunch I had celery, tomatoes, onions, red pepper, carrots, and chicken breast. And you know what? It tasted kind of crappy- but then I thought of the fight I am choosing to engage in, and it tasted like VICTORY. If you want far yummier food to achieve your victory, go check out Foodie Fiasco's blog. This gal is a freaking teenager and has recreated all of the yummies to fit Paleo, gluten free, vegan diets. There are brownie recipes there people!
I WILL KICK FAT'S ASS. As opposed to being a fat ass. Totally different things.
I am not fucking around this time. Over the past week I did a "water challenge"- the point is to drink half your body weight in ounces of water. I called my doctor, I made sure this was safe because as a fattie, that's a shit ton of water. She loved the idea and encouraged me to do it. Not only did I meet my daily goal, I blew that goal out of the water (giggle, and water connection intended). And I got results! I didn't want crap food. My blood pressure is better than it has been since pre-baby M. My pulse is a lovely 65. My rosacea is way less boiled lobster and more slightly flushed. My hair even looks better in an "I need a haircut and my color is from a box but it's clean" kind of way. I didn't lose an ounce. Instead, I gained a clear vision of what I want from my body, for my body, and for my kids.
I will lose 130 pounds by September 22, 2018. That's my 40th birthday.
Do you hear me world? I WILL DO THIS. Going to blow it out of the park, which is apparently a synonym for kicking ass- not a sports gal! Watch out peeps, I'm going to persist.
Now shit is getting real. I am almost
That said, I'm almost 39. I am fat. I have had gastric bypass. Not a lot of people know that. It was in 2005 and I lost 100 pounds. Then I met a man, got married, got pregnant, gained 90 pounds. Had baby M. Lost 50. Moved. Got pregnant. Gained 20 pounds. Had baby J. Lost 10 pounds. Got divorced, thus losing multiple emotional pounds. Joined the PTO. Focused on raising two boys solo. Took amazing steps with my career. Started coaching soccer. Lost myself. Became so paranoid about dying I have had 5 EKG's in three months (all totally normal). While this fear is helping me meet my deductible, every twinge I feel in my arm or jaw is not me having a heart attack, but a manifestation of my anxiety. However, if I don't make really significant changes, my kids could be waking up next to my cold, dead, body. Yes, That's horrible to say. It's something no mom wants for her kids. And I refuse to let that happen.
Now, it's my time. I'm going to use foul language here, so if your five year old is extremely precocious and can read, tell them to go fuck off for a second. Oops. Already dropped an eff bomb.
I am NOT GIVING AWAY MY SHOT (thanks Lin-Manuel Miranda)! This is MY DAY. This is MY CHOICE. And yes, I am choosing rabbit food. Today for lunch I had celery, tomatoes, onions, red pepper, carrots, and chicken breast. And you know what? It tasted kind of crappy- but then I thought of the fight I am choosing to engage in, and it tasted like VICTORY. If you want far yummier food to achieve your victory, go check out Foodie Fiasco's blog. This gal is a freaking teenager and has recreated all of the yummies to fit Paleo, gluten free, vegan diets. There are brownie recipes there people!
I WILL KICK FAT'S ASS. As opposed to being a fat ass. Totally different things.
I am not fucking around this time. Over the past week I did a "water challenge"- the point is to drink half your body weight in ounces of water. I called my doctor, I made sure this was safe because as a fattie, that's a shit ton of water. She loved the idea and encouraged me to do it. Not only did I meet my daily goal, I blew that goal out of the water (giggle, and water connection intended). And I got results! I didn't want crap food. My blood pressure is better than it has been since pre-baby M. My pulse is a lovely 65. My rosacea is way less boiled lobster and more slightly flushed. My hair even looks better in an "I need a haircut and my color is from a box but it's clean" kind of way. I didn't lose an ounce. Instead, I gained a clear vision of what I want from my body, for my body, and for my kids.
I will lose 130 pounds by September 22, 2018. That's my 40th birthday.
Do you hear me world? I WILL DO THIS. Going to blow it out of the park, which is apparently a synonym for kicking ass- not a sports gal! Watch out peeps, I'm going to persist.
Sunday, January 15, 2017
Wahoo for Blogging!
Occasionally people will ask me for a recipe, or what not, that I am sure I have...and then I start hunting. And then I remember I have a blog. I can usually find exactly which post I talked about whatever in, and can share it.
That's lame though- I need a better way to keep track! I have files on my computer, and recipes jotted in notebooks, and craft orders in another notebook, and thoughts about J's hearing loss in another. I need a better way to be organized. I haven't figured it out though. I'm still pretty old school with pen to paper note taking- I was lucky enough to find an amazing advocate to help me negotiate J's IEP. I'm totally on the ball with special ed, but not so much when it comes to hearing loss- I am at a 'loss' there. This woman is incredible, and I am so damn lucky to be working with her. The district may not know what hit them, but I'm a mama bear- never underestimate the lengths I will go to in order to advocate for my kids.
This week will bring about a new president. I didn't capitalize for a reason, as he's not my president, and never will be. I'm waiting for that dark black cloud to descend upon the world at noon on January 20th.
Aside from that, the new year is bringing new recipes, new vigor for life, and a new approach to purging crap from my house- if I don't need it, it's free, come and get it. Ironically I wanted to ditch all of my wedding crystal, and a neighbor had the same style and had broken hers- she picked it all up today and I was thrilled. Lamps are also a hot commodity- along with the bathroom renovations I finally had recessed lighting put into the family and dining rooms, as well as overhead lighting in all of the bedrooms, so what the heck do I need with all of those standing lamps? I can't get rid of puzzles and DVD's for anything, but lamps??? It was fast!
I'm just running my mouth at the moment, and have nothing spectacular or earth shattering to share. However, I will share the prayer that caught my heart from church this morning...
In times of light and times of darkness
May this small flame
Kindle what is good
In us and in the world.
-Sarah Gibb Millspaugh
That's lame though- I need a better way to keep track! I have files on my computer, and recipes jotted in notebooks, and craft orders in another notebook, and thoughts about J's hearing loss in another. I need a better way to be organized. I haven't figured it out though. I'm still pretty old school with pen to paper note taking- I was lucky enough to find an amazing advocate to help me negotiate J's IEP. I'm totally on the ball with special ed, but not so much when it comes to hearing loss- I am at a 'loss' there. This woman is incredible, and I am so damn lucky to be working with her. The district may not know what hit them, but I'm a mama bear- never underestimate the lengths I will go to in order to advocate for my kids.
This week will bring about a new president. I didn't capitalize for a reason, as he's not my president, and never will be. I'm waiting for that dark black cloud to descend upon the world at noon on January 20th.
Aside from that, the new year is bringing new recipes, new vigor for life, and a new approach to purging crap from my house- if I don't need it, it's free, come and get it. Ironically I wanted to ditch all of my wedding crystal, and a neighbor had the same style and had broken hers- she picked it all up today and I was thrilled. Lamps are also a hot commodity- along with the bathroom renovations I finally had recessed lighting put into the family and dining rooms, as well as overhead lighting in all of the bedrooms, so what the heck do I need with all of those standing lamps? I can't get rid of puzzles and DVD's for anything, but lamps??? It was fast!
I'm just running my mouth at the moment, and have nothing spectacular or earth shattering to share. However, I will share the prayer that caught my heart from church this morning...
In times of light and times of darkness
May this small flame
Kindle what is good
In us and in the world.
-Sarah Gibb Millspaugh
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