Coffee....yum.

So America runs on Dunkin’, you say? Well that was pretty evident during this past freak weather occurrence- there were LOTS of power trucks at the DD trying desperately to restore power, and pretty much none in my neighborhood. Jerks. Well, secretly I was pretty happy, because I am a big fan of having my coffee made for me. I think the slogan should really be “Mamas run on Dunkin’” because I rarely see a mom without a coffee in hand. Not that ANYONE is surprised by that. Think about it- moms have numerous functions, and if we aren’t in peak shape, EVERYONE suffers. Nose wiper, tush cleaner, meal preparer, sock finder, toy repair specialist, plumber, laundress, moral compass (um, theoretically), maid, therapist, behavior analyst, food source, task master, chaffeur, the list is totally endless. That said, we have a plentitude of choices when it comes to coffee- mom and pop coffee shops;  the evil empire, Crackbucks; convenience stores; Wegman’s; diners; there are even machines that make coffee in OUR OWN HOMES! Bottom line? Dunkin’ makes my coffee for me. For once, I get to order someone else aroun d and get exactly what I want. Yeah, someone waiting on me, asking what I need, how they can HELP ME. Not “mama, heeeeelp, or mama, mess!” That said, I love my Dunkin’ ladies- the nicest girls around, who NEVER screw up my coffee. I actually- wait for it! GET OUT OF MY CAR TO GET MY COFFEE. There isn’t a drive through but the service is worth it. That might be the most exercise I get in the day even. If I HAVE to drive through at my second favorite store, E takes pretty good care of me and her “boyfriend” Mr. M, in the back seat- she can toss a munchkin across the back seat like a really good pitcher (and if I knew JACK about sports I would actually use someone’s real name. But I don’t!) and have Mr. M catch it! He’ll do pretty much anything for that chocolate munchkin- bats his eyelashes, waves, says “HI!” and even winks every once in a while (yeah, I have a mirror in the back seat- I know what’s going on- he’s totally cheating on Melmo) all for a little ball of dough, which he nom-noms through in point four seconds. Then we get to daycare and have to do the donut shimmy to dislodge all the crumbs from his wardrobe.  He’s at the point that every time I put my front window down, he starts screaming for a “donut”. I have tried to explain the concept of an ATM to him, but he just hasn’t gotten it yet!

Every once in a while I get really ticked off at Dunkin’ to the point that I send emails and call corporate. They do things like offer special sandwiches with delicious things like maple sausage, cheddar, or pepperjack cheese. The new thing is that smokehouse link thing.  Yumminess between two slices of a carb of your choice, and since I don’t get the egg because it’s yucky, I am all about those special ingredients. They develop a cult-like following, and make me crave breakfast like it’s going to be my last meal. And then, you know what they do? THEY TAKE IT AWAY. Limited time only! While supplies last! NO! Pigs don’t stop being raised, sausage doesn’t just stop being flavored with faux maple additives. Hillshire Farm isn't about to declare chapter eleven!

GO BUY SOME MORE, DAMNIT!