Food porn

Obviously there is a problem with lots of things in America- the economy is a shit show, we've got college students living in a square in Boston, liberals are defecting at an alarming rate, hospitals are axing lactation consultants, and pornography remains a problem. In Arizona, there is a shooting range where kids can pose with a semi-automatic rifle aimed at Santa for their holiday cards. Disgusting, right? There was just a thing on the news about a guy looking at inappropriate things on his laptop while on a flight. Now that's just gross. There is one porn I can totally get behind, however, and that's some good old-fashioned food porn. For the non foodie, it's cookbooks, catalogs, and shops that cater to the gourmand, and pretenders alike (that's me- I just pretend!) Look at all those shows on TV- Top Chef, Next Iron Chef, Master Chef, Cake Boss, Unique Eats- I could literally fill an entire novel with them! For me, my great weakness is the Williams-Sonoma catalog and Harry & David. They both make me feel like I could entertain with the best. From gravy base that turns my gravy into a rich, dark, velvety gloss- to Moravian Ginger Spice Cookies so thin you feel like you're snapping panes of glass. Corn relish that when whipped with cream cheese creates a 1950's appetizer staple- chutneys that paired with fresh pineapple and crystallized ginger turn a ham into a shining star of the dinner table- olive tapenades, basting oils, exotic spices, and marinades that transform any ho-hum meal into a party in your mouth! Fresh Bosc pears packaged in towers, complete with dark chocolate nibbles created solely to accentuate the fruit. This time of year is the most dangerous- there is no end of possibility for your holiday table! Luckily, they all cost mega bucks, so I am not at risk of becoming a 500 pound wanna be foodie. I stick to my pulled pork and homemade barbeque sauce (and no, I'm not sharing the recipe- but I might trade it for another tin of those Moravian Spice Cookies!) and oreo truffles- things with basic ingredients that don't break the bank.

My thoughts though? Replace Playboy, Penthouse, and all that other crap with glossy shots of glazed hams, fruit towers, and caramels- and the world just might be a better place. Albeit a slightly fatter one.