Anxiety & Trader Joe's

I know I am not alone in having anxiety- everyone's manifests itself differently. Me? I feel a weird body twinge, and if it's anywhere in my legs, I am having a DVT and will die imminently. If it's in my shoulders, back, jaw, neck, chest, or arm, I am having a heart attack and will die imminently. If it's lower back or hips I am just so used to it I ignore it.

So it's Saturday, and since I have now lost TWELVE POUNDS eating this crazy me created diet and drinking water like a fish, it's time to re-up on veggies (and turmeric)! Off to Trader Joe's I go. Picture me whizzing down the frozen food aisle and feeling this little ache right in the middle of my right boob. Nevermind the fact that I added extra reps to my arm weight training this morning- I know this is it. My time has come. I'm clutching my boob and looking around for an AED, and am feeling really grateful that I am in the frozen food aisle, so if I can't be resuscitated immediately at least they can put me in the freezer case to protect my organs (to both increase my likelihood of survival and preserve organs for donation if that's it) while continuing compressions. This is majorly reassuring and I look around for someone else in the aisle to share my plan with.

Luckily there is no one there, because I am pretty sure I would have been fast-tracked to Behavioral Services at UMass.

Take deep breath. Can breath fine. No nausea. No hot flushed feeling. OK, so this is just me being an anxious wreck.

Drive home, unload the groceries, check my blood pressure. Higher than my baseline (I check every day, and it's been the same damn thing for nearly three weeks- a very healthy BP). So then I check again. And again. And the other arm. Still high. Now my left arm aches from repeated squeezing. Totally having a heart attack. Remember I had a slice of prosciutto with some fresh mozzarella for breakfast. Sodium city. Ahhhh of course- I've been so low sodium for weeks my body is like WOOOOO SALT! Say fuck it, take a Xanax. Amazingly, now my BP is a-ok. So that's how my anxiety manifests itself.

What it isn't doing however, is pulling me off track with eating. The whole stomach queasy bug thing derailed eating ANYTHING or drinking enough water (I never yakked just didn't want food).

I've learned a few more things that might be helpful for other people trying to make a change so I will share!

- If you like sausage/peppers/onions- the Thin and Trim brand of chicken sausages are really good, low calorie, low fat, and not awful for the sodium. Way better than the chicken sausage you can find at TJ's, or other markets.
- Turmeric is still a super food. Add some with cumin to any veg you are sauteing or roasting. For a kick, squeeze in some lemon juice.
- Kale is tolerable when sauteed with a lot of garlic, spinach, and swiss chard.
- Rosemary, thyme and apple infused water is like drinking stuffing. Not for everyone but I really enjoy it.
- Look at the calories on the TJ flatbreads- the ham, gruyere, and onion one is 130 calories per quarter, and both the mushroom and the tomato ones are 300-330 calories per quarter!!! The ham is my favorite anyway.
- There are three kinds of quinoa at TJ's and they all have the same calorie and fiber count.
- Don't eat grapes while driving. You will look everywhere for it, but inevitably step on it and ground it into your carpet getting out of the car.

And the recipe I am most excited about making this week is Chicken Satay Salad. WAHOO FOR NO LETTUCE! And thanks Catherine for the recipe tip!

That's it from here folks!