Yeah, I'm still here. Getting a much better handle on my anxiety which is good because J's pre-surgical anxiety is raging! Kiddo must be actually touching me during all waking hours when we are not driving in the car or he is at daycare/school/sleeping. The sleeping isn't even a gimme anymore- he's waking up a lot and needing me to be right there. For my sanity and my need to complete lesson plans, grading, and what not, many nights I have to bring him downstairs and he falls back to sleep at my feet. At this point, I have an air mattress in the office (which totally hinders my crafting when said child is actually in his bed) and just cross my fingers every night.
Getting a little frustrated though- depending on the day I have lost 12-14 pounds. That's awesome, and I know it. BUT I WANT TO LOSE MORE FASTER. Like every other person in the free world embarking on a weight loss path, I want to lose more NOW!
I have to relax, and recognize that this isn't an overnight thing- I am still changing my eating habits. I am still encountering new situations- like today. We had early dismissal, and I didn't have to get the kids for several hours. I adore my coworkers and it was lovely to have an opportunity to just have a drink and lunch with them. I knew my calories for the cocktails, so that was easy. The menu of food?? I stared at that sucker for a good twenty minutes. Our waitress was great- kept checking with the kitchen on calories, and the like. I settled on grilled boneless Maple Mustard "wings". They were really yummy- and I have enough left over for two protein servings on top of quinoa and roast veggies this weekend. I also had a side of the ever fantastic Grillo's pickles. FOUR CALORIES EACH. If you like pickles? Get these.
What is really frustrating me is my new craving to exercise and bust my ass. My children are not so into this. I want to haul around the neighborhood huffing and puffing to the Hamilton soundtrack with a few dance breaks in between. The kids want to slowly scooter and look at rocks and leaves. All awesome things- but they don't really go together.
My challenge for the upcoming weeks is to figure out a way to merge it all together. I need to figure out a way to get my outside/heartpounding workouts (I have lots of great workouts living in this crazy interwebs thingamajiggy but it just doesn't do it for me) in AND parent AND work. Not sure what that will look like- get a sitter every day after school? Find a gym with childcare that is reasonably priced (and J will actually go to without me)?
I don't have the answers yet, but I will. Nevertheless, I'll persist. For all of you that are following my journey- I know you'll persist too.
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