The zen of floor washing...

So my hubs is a good man- he runs a restaurant and works his tail off. As a result, he's not home a lot when we are all awake. Sometimes I am barely conscious when he walks in. However, yesterday, he was home by FIVE PM. On a Saturday! It was pretty cool. The kids got all settled, and I started my nightly routine. You know, dishes, sweep, etc. My boys are messy as all get out so there is a steam mop session in there too. Hubs was hanging out in the family room with a sleeping toddler on his belly and I started the clean up. First is the family room- pick up toys, etc. Nothing terrible exciting. Then it's time for the floor in the family room. Spray bottle of water and vinegar, and my crunchy lovely flannel cloths. You know, to get the serious gook off- the places where a drop of juice spilled and then five hundred people walked over it, tracking ickies everywhere. My hubs just kept staring at me. Finally he asked me what I was doing- I explained "Ummm, duh, I am cleaning our floors." He was incredulous. "You clean the family room floors? I mean, I know you do the kitchen, but the family room?" What, does he think we have an effing house elf hiding somewhere? Trust me, if we did, I'd be sitting on my ever expanding ass drinking a glass of wine (or coffee if it's before noon four pm) and pointing out shit for Dobbie the house elf to scrub. It just cracked the hell out of me. It's a man thing. They have no freaking clue what mommies really do- even the super involved ones. Tonight Mr. M was rockin' the no diaper scene due to a nasty rash, and he peed on the floor. No big. Daddy FREAKED out and was running around the house looking for gloves or the house elf or something. Maybe Xanax. By the time he got back, it was obviously gone (that spray bottle of vinegar is never far!) and he was like "IT'S MAGIC!!!" Yeah honey. It's the magic of mommies.

Good thing he wasn't here when "someone" pooped on the floor.