Holy crunch, Batman!

I am the uncrunchiest person I know. I hate recycling and get a sick thrill over throwing away a can (calm down, I do recycle-MOSTLY), worship at the temple of disposable diapers, and genuinely enjoy Red Dye 40 and fake sugar. I use enough chemicals on my hair to take down a small town's water supply. Today I am home with a sickie totally bored out of my mind, so I decided to take a shower while said sickie gorked out to quality PBS programming Spongebob. I used my homemade coconut oil soap shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. I exfoliated with brown sugar-coconut oil-lime scrub I made, and shaved with whipped coconut oil (hey, it was a double episode of Spongebob)! I got out, put on my leave in conditioner made of what else, coconut oil and other stuff, and put on my deodorant. That's when it hit me. My deodorant was also homemade, from coconut oil, essential oil, baking soda, and cornstarch. My laundry detergent, fabric softener, cleaning rags, boogie wipes, counter spray, deep cleaning solution, stain solution, tub scrub, floor cleaner- all homemade. All non toxic. NOT that I would drink any of them, but the lavender lime tub scrub smells awesome. My bread? I made it. From ORGANIC ingredients. The black bean soup simmering in the crockpot? Also organic and GULP, VEGAN. Don't worry I will add lots of sour cream and cheddar. I said crunchy, not kookoo crazy.

What the hell has happened to me? Must. Change. More. Disposable. Diapers.