No, this post isn't about death...it's about the things that make us feel whole. I used to do a lot of theater. Most of my experience is now backstage- I have been a stage manager, costumer, prop mistress, set painter (ohhhh the Lughnasa rocks! LOVED THEM!), hair and makeup coordinator, director, tech director- the only thing I haven't done is music direct, because frankly, I can't play the freaking piano. I took lessons as a kid, and my mom encouraged me to NOT quit, but it my middle school horribleness, I did. Now I completely regret it and yet again, my mom was right. I know, big shock. Mamas usually are! I even ran fly systems and (very poorly) ran light boards. I also was in a ton of shows- a bleating sheep in Godspell, and more than a few in the "dance ensemble", a few turns as Agravane, Winnifred, and of course Hannigan- I'm a character actress, surely. No ingenue roles for me. I'll never trip the light fantastic as a Marian Paroo, and that's fine with me! I always preferred the antics of Eulalie anyway. "One Grecian urn. Two Grecian Urns..." Yeah, those are my people. I even played every female role in the "Wizard of Oz" when I decided my students in an all boys' residential program should do theater. It was so much fun, and I am pretty sure I was horrible. Everyone clapped at the "pretend" curtain (we were in the gym, so give me a break- and whether they clapped because it was over, I'll never know), so I'll take it.
It's been years though. Too many years, since I have been listed in a program. That was my choice. I chose to have babies, and dedicate myself to raising them. I chose lots and lots of diaper changes, and rocking, and reading, and snuggling. I would trade it for absolutely nothing. My last full season was the summer of 2008- Bat Boy, Suessical, and Thoroughly Modern Millie. When I teched Chorus Line the following summer, I was pregnant with Miles. I love the pictures I have in my all black wardrobe, heavily pregnant, ready to turn mirrors. The following summer I helped with some makeup, but with a crawling baby, who has straight up peed in the lobby of the Eleanor Casey Welch Theater at Regis (I seriously didn't realize that swim diapers didn't hold pee- and I had run out of regular ones!) I knew I was done for the time being.
It's finally time for me to start tiptoeing back into the theater. I was offered a wonderful opportunity to costume a production of Aladdin, which happened to fall on a weekend I could really do it. Four casts, lots and lots of kids. Many of them are little- in another year, Miles could be one of them. They're kind of awesome. Today was load in day, and as I walked across the stage returning to my costume corner, the lights came up. Instinctively, I turned toward the light. As a former actor, you always turn towards the light- whether it's your cue doesn't matter- just turn towards the light. For a split second my brain was cycling through every show I have ever done- either performing, or being a tech person- Secret Garden, Wizard of Oz, Tales of Trickery, Stories Gone Wilde, Fiddler, Annie, Godspell, Music Man, Children of Eden, Songs from a New World, Once on This Island, Dancing at Lughnasa, Twelfth Night, Blithe Spirit, West Side Story, Joseph, countless one acts- it was as if I had never left. They're a huge piece of my past, and hopefully, big pieces of my future.
Turn towards the light- find your joy. Make it work, and enjoy every moment.
No comments:
Post a Comment