Focusing on the negatives...

I like blogs. Especially ones written by others, because the are actually good writers. I read one that was really awesome- it was about focusing on living in the moment. Choosing to relish things instead of busying yourself with other tasks. In a list format, which I love. Me? I read that and got all snarky with it.

• I am not adept at rocking two children to sleep without dropping one. Don't worry, it was the toddler.
• I am not very good at keeping house. Please don't look under the couch. It's a home for wayward toys, dirt, and dried playdoh.
• I am not able to keep my mouth shut when perhaps I really should. It's just not in my nature, especially if the person I am talking to is being a horses' ass. Just can't do it.
• I am not going to worry about what people think of me. There is too much other shit to worry about, like if my roots are getting too long, and whether I need a pedicure.
• I am not getting said pedicure. Shrimp is not really into being put down, so I don't think he'll snooze through a nice soak and buff.
• I am not good at tubbies. That's daddy's department. When daddy works late, Bubba doesn't get his hair washed unless it does it himself. Still waiting for that to happen.
• I am not good at all when things happen simultaneosly, like when the toddler poops in the tub at the same instant that Shrimp blows chunks everywhere. I don't know which train wreck to address first.
• I am not able to survive a day without at least one coffee, from Dunkin. Well, thanks to a mommy friend, I can make it myself now, pumpkin spice and all!
• I am not about to give up shopping compulsively at Wegman's. NEVER.
• I am not worried about whether these jeans make my butt look big. It is big. I'm fat people, and clothes aren't going to hide that fact.
• I am not good at keeping presents a secret. I gave hubs his Christmas present this morning (mainly so I could enjoy it too).
• I am not good about sharing certain things, like cookies made with caramel. They are hidden from everyone in the house and I am NOT TELLING WHERE THEY ARE!!!
• I am not above locking myself in the bathroom.
• I am not going to worry about how I am screwing up my kids. Society can do that for me, and judge me unmercilessly. I love them to pieces, and that's what really matters.

I guess I should try to be more positive.