Baby, it's cold outside...

So I took my boys to see Frozen the other day- they loved it, and so did I- but I wonder whether or not Disney had some magic eight ball to foretell this damn polar vortex freezing misery??? Mr. M said to me after the movie "If love makes the world warm again why are we so cold? I love you and brudder (brother)". Sorry, bucko. Doesn't work that way, at least not in MA. That's ok, I could be like some of my fellow teachers who are bunkered down in their schools in Georgia with hundreds of their students because the busses couldn't get them home- raiding the cafeteria to make meals for the kids and all of the stranded staff. Poor South. It sucks.

That said, I whipped up some yummy honey garlic chicken with lo mein tonight and it was just perfect.  Easy too! I used a premade sweet and sour sauce for the chicken, and added some stuff.

Chinese Style Chicken

3 chicken breasts, cut into chunks
cornstarch
1/4 cup oil
1 bottle sweet and sour or other Asian saute sauce
1/2 tsp garlic powder
3 tbsp soy sauce
1/4 cup honey
1/4 cup vinegar- rice wine or white

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Toss oil in saute pan over medium heat, and allow to heat up. Brown chicken in pan then put in 9 x 13 baking dish. Stir in sauce, garlic powder, honey, soy sauce, and vinegar. Make sure pieces are coated. Bake for 1 hour, tossing chicken every 15 minutes. Eat. Super delicious- not fried- but really, really tender.

Eat, then repeat. My kids even eat this. Understatement- they SCARF it. If you don't have a bottle of sweet and sour sauce, use ketchup with the rest of the ingredients (about 3/4 cups) and up the honey to 1/3 cup. You can also toss some sesame seeds over the finished product.

Eat warm.

I just don't know how she does it...

How many times have you thought that? I just don't know how she...homeschools- works- bakes- cleans- runs- showers? The fact of the matter is that we all think that at some point. I look at some of my friends and am consumed with jealousy- they're freaking adorable. Hair done. I think- "I just don't know how she looks so pulled together". At the same time, she is wondering the same thing about another mama- "I just don't know how she always has fresh baked bread- I can barely make chicken nuggets". The real message here is that we are all incredulous. Being a mom is no easy task- there is the provision of regular daily needs- food, water, etc. I got that DOWN. Then there is the other stuff. I don't give a flying rats behind if my floor is sparkling- I'd rather make cookies with my kidlets. Yet another mama is willing to have clean laundry folded and put away, but hasn't had a good shower in weeks. It just doesn't matter. We can work harder, sleep less, craft more, eat less, run more- and we still might not be happy. No one person can get it all done, while raising happy, healthy, loving children. We've got to just let it go. Hell, I am doing a 5K in four months and the farthest I have run EVER is to the end of the driveway to catch an escapee toddler. You know what? That's ok. I don't NEED to be fastest. I don't need to WIN. I need to have fun with my friends. I want to enjoy my life. I'll find the strength I need in the moments I so desperately need it. You get to a point where you just have to trust the universe. Second guessing your choices isn't worth it. Playing the comparison game isn't worth it (mainly because you WILL. ALWAYS. LOSE). It's time for women, and mamas in particular, to just recognize that no one person can do it all. Women are stronger than freaking donkeys after all- we can just get shit done. However, when we don't, it doesn't mean we have failed.

It only means we are still trying, and tomorrow is a new day.

Cookie Half-Assed Tutorial

OK, so this isn't actually a tutorial, because I don't have any pictures. However, making super fancy decorated cookies isn't as hard as it looks. Instead of emailing twelve different people what they need, I figured I would just write a blog post. I am trying to figure out the best way to put together a tutorial, too.

You need certain things to make beautiful iced cookies. Step one- buy all this crap. The links are all Amazon, but you can get the stuff elsewhere. I snagged some Kuhn Rikon at Sur La Table super clearance, and they sometimes have them at Marshalls/TJ's etc. Meringue powder is carried in Walmart, A.C. Moore, Michael's, and most grocery stores have it- perhaps under the name powdered egg whites. Icing color you can get again at Walmart, craft stores, etc. I like just getting a full set so I am ready for anything- I will occasionally snag extra red from Wilton, in the little tub. Tub colorant is a PITA though, because it dyes your hands, and you have to use a toothpick to scoop it out. A little goes a long way, UNLESS it's red. Be red-y (hahaha) to use a whole bottle!

Kuhn Rikon Decorating Bottles
Meringue Powder
Icing colorant
Toothpicks
Confectioner's Sugar
Cookies- I use sugar cookie cutouts, and yes, most of the time I use a mix. I collect cookie cutters so I have tons, but if I see a cute one I grab it. I order specific shapes for special events- I just ordered a daisy and wedding dress to use for a shower I am throwing later this spring.

See, now that was easy? That's what you need...recipe below for the royal icing (which I make by the pound and just keep in the fridge)

Royal Icing

Really, you need a stand mixer. If you don't have one, borrow one, or you can use a hand mixer. Add the whipping attachment.

Heaping tablespoon of meringue powder
Confectioner's sugar (I start with half a bag)
1 cup water (which you add VERY slowly. A little goes a long way!!!!)
1 tsp extract- I usually use almond or vanilla, but mint sometimes, and lemon in the summer.

Put sugar and meringue powder in bowl. Add extract and about 1/4 cup water. Turn on mixer and gradually add water until fully mixed. Frosting should be glossy white and fairly stiff. If it is too powdery, add a smidge of water at a time. If it's too watery, add more sugar. When it's fully beaten, you can lift the whippy thingy and peaks will remain but aren't super stiff. That's the perfect consistency. When you add color, that's when you can thin with a touch of water for flooding, or add a touch of sugar for piping names or small details.

Got it? That's all you do, for the first step. Yeah, go bake your cookies too. It's fine if the dough is a touch thicker, and for the love of Adam DON'T OVERBAKE. My cookies bake for 6 1/2 minutes at 350- but that's my thickness, my cookie recipe. They should be lightly golden brown on the bottom but not browned on the top! If you are using a mix, add about a tablespoon of flour to the mix so that it is stiffer. Never try to roll out room temperature dough either- pop that stuff in the fridge for at least an hour to firm up.

I promise I'll cover the decorating itself in the next post- I need to get some pictures because it's not super easy to explain...

Who needs sleep?

So it's 5:30 in the morning and I'm milking cows...WAIT. No I am not. Sorry, a little Weird Al Amish Paradise slipped into my strain of consciousness. I am awake, and writing a blog post. I just read pretty much every post Rachel at Finding Joy has ever written- and she's a genius. I don't have the words to construct mommy life like she does. But I read her To the Tired Moms post and it struck a chord.

When is the last time you, as a mommy, have slept through the entire night? Seriously- NOT ONE WAKE UP? Even if your kids are champion sleepers (which mine are when we are following our regular school-home-sleep schedule) you wake up anyway, I am pretty sure. Whether it's to look at the monitor, or check on a little one- you wake up. When you're nursing and bed sharing, even if it's to roll over and pop a boob out, you wake up. If your kid coughs like maybe he'll puke- you wake up. If he's (tonights saga) calling mama and saying "Stuff Nose! Stuff Nose! Water squirter on pweeese! (little dude wanted his humidifier on, apparently) you wake up.

It's been four years for me. FOUR FREAKING YEARS. I spent four nights in the hospital after J's birth- even though he had quality time in the nursery at night, I still woke up to pump, or chat with my nurses. I wouldn't even know what to do if I slept ALL. NIGHT. LONG. I spent four years in college and three in grad school, and I was always so tired. YEAH RIGHT. That was cake. This is real life. There is rest, of course- I couldn't teach all day and keep the house moderately (that's a stretch but go with it) tidy if I didn't have rest. Even if that's twelve minutes face down on the couch while the boys play nicely (i.e. don't try to kill each other) with cars. Still, that's not a night of uninterrupted sleep. Honestly, at this stage, I don't have a clue how my system would handle it. I think I would freak out, completely.

But that's ok. I've adapted. I'm cool with it. My little nuggets of love are well worth it, even if they are snoring besides me, just to rub it in.

I wasted SO MUCH TIME.

Yes, when I was single, or even married, and childless, I just frittered away time. I have no clue what I did, but I was always up to date on Grey's and CSI. I think I must have just had numerous leisurely lunches. Now that I am a mama to two, I don't even know what I did with myself. Tonight is my big boy's first sleepover at his daddy's. He was so upset this morning- and it broke my heart.  Little baby J is back with me, and has reveled in singleton status, if just for a few hours. The first thing he did was search the house for "brudder". When he didn't find him, he made a beeline to the toys that big brother always hogs. His squeals of glee were hysterical! Dinner, a tubby, and a snuggle later, he's in bed. NOW WHAT? Little J helped me clean up from dinner, so that's done. Toys are picked up, kitchen floor washed. Gifts wrapped. Several gifts sewn. SO NOW WHAT DO I DO???? It's only 7:57 pm. Do I just go to sleep? About twenty minutes ago Mr. J got pretty cranky so I went to check on him. No big deal, blankie overboard. When I returned blankie to the crib I got the standard "Gank you mommy!". Thank you is totally his favorite phrase right now- and I love it. But Mr. J kept talking. "I wub you mommy! Hug?" Um, hell yes. As I sobbed into his luscious little curls, I couldn't believe that my baby was grown up enough to say that. J reminded me of the task at hand, and started fighting his way out of the hug requesting "Cwibbie night night! DOWN!". What can I say, he's a sleeper. That was the highlight of my evening, but remember, it's barely 8 pm. Now what the hell do I do with myself?

Oh wait, I know, glitter everything standing still.

Food, Glorious Food! Thanksgiving Style...

I love to cook. If you asked me five years ago what I would be doing at 2:30 in the morning Thanksgiving day, it WASN'T glazing a turkey and checking on pulled pork. Over the past year, I have been evolving- I am a better mother, daughter, and friend than I was... I get what matters, and have given up trying to expand my circle of control. I can only be who I am, and do what I can. Cooking has been a big part of that. When I couldn't sleep, I experimented with relishes, chutneys, and sauces. When the kids were bouncing off the walls, we baked (little kids are quite good at kneading dough)! As a result, I am a far better chef than I was in the past. Yes, I can still rock out some amazing mac and cheese- with goat cheese and caramelized onions, of course. I still resort to a quick meal for myself- but I can also create masterpieces.

Luckily, I know a lot of people that like good food, and don't have the time or energy to create it themselves. That's where I come in, and how Mama Bee Kitchen Coaching was born. I have SO MUCH FUN teaching other mamas (and a few dads!) some tricks in the kitchen. Now that the holidays are here full force, I am so enjoying being a part of THREE families' Thanksgiving- I make it, they eat it. I am not a "real" caterer- or a "real" chef, but when people want home cooked, they are calling me. The families I am cooking for this Thanksgiving are SO different and it's been a blast developing their menus! Since I love food (have you seen my ass? This is like a DUH statement) I wanted to share the menus with you...

Family One: Pescetarian Delight

Carrot, Sweet Potato and Ginger bisque

Oysters, Shrimp Cocktail, and Hot Crab Dip

Spinach Spoonbread

Roasted Root Vegetables with Cranberries and Walnuts

Mashed Potatoes

Spinach & Strawberry Salad

Roasted Garlic Brussel Sprouts

Balsamic Glazed Salmon

Pumpkin Pie

Pecan Pie

Family Two: Traditions, Traditions!

Brie, Caramelized Onions & Fig Tartlets

Mashed potatoes

Spinach Spoonbread

Squash Casserole

Simon & Garfunkel stuffing: Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme!

Cranberry Orange Relish

Challah turkey

Roasted Sweet Potatoes

Turkey, brined and glazed with a mustard maple sauce

Mustard Maple Reduction 

Traditional Gravy

Asparagus with Balsamic glaze

Coconut Cream Pie

Chocolate Toffee Trifle

Family Three: Down Home, Baby AKA Thanksgiving? How About FOOTBALL?

Onion and Bacon Pinwheels

Brisket Bruschetta

Buffalo Chicken Dip

Spinach Spoonbread

Cornbread

Sweet Potato pudding (savory)

Pulled Pork

Trio of BBQ sauces: Balsamic, North Carolina, and Brown Sugar

Roasted Corn, Peppers, and Tomato salad

Mashed potatoes

Green Bean Casserole

Bacon & Onion Stuffing

Goat Cheese Mac with Caramelized Shallots & Bacon

Pumpkin Pie

Pecan Pie

Grasshopper Pie

So from my multiple families to yours- go play in the kitchen. Experiment! Enjoy the process! Expect to toss ten versions of bread before you hit on the right one. 

And seriously, pass the gravy.

Awesomesauce, and the like...

OK, so I am not completely callous. I am ridiculously thankful for SO much my heart is full to nearly bursting. I am a smidge of a Turkey Day grinch, but I still have a lot of love to give.

So, my yearly "I am thankful for..." list....

1. My dishwasher
2. Meringue powder
3. Delicata squash
4. Curious Kids Childcare
5. My job, at the lovely AVCAS
6. Disney World
7. Wegman's
8. Market Basket
9. My mama gals, the lovely rockin' and shockin'
10. ACM- she's always real, and I love that.
11. Hamilton College- both for the friends it brought me and the doors it opened! Couldn't imagine life right now without my Sara, Quinn, and Ginger.
12. My lawyer
13. 6 Coolidge Circle- for the cozy life I lead here with my boys and for giving me
14. Hannah and Dick next door, AKA Nanny Hanny and Pepe- yes, she hates that it's not "Nana Hannah" but hell, I have little boys- we don't say really anything correctly- the boys adore them, and I ADORE speaking to an adult regularly.
15. Cape May, NJ- just go there. You'll understand.
16. My sense of humor- you have to laugh at yourself or else you are utterly SCREWED.
17. My mom- she's the reason I am who I am. And if I wasn't who I am today, I totally would have failed at life.
18. Being a Baer. We rock. GO TEAM BAER!
19. JB. Because he's JB. No explanation needed.
20. New friends who I feel like have known me for YEARS. Even though she drinks beet juice and is a GASP runner.
21. Messages like this...from a dear friend, who I don't see enough, but who knows my core..."you are one of the fiercest women I know. I can tell how hard things have become but I know you'll come 
through with grace and style." BAHAHA I have everyone fooled! No style here!!!

See? Not a total grinch here! What makes your life most wonderful? Think about it- and then tell them...