Leggings...

Yes, I shall blog about leggings. The fact that I shall blog about a clothing item is nothing short of EPIC. I have horrible taste- anything that I look good in my mother bought me, period. There is no need to ask where I got it- my response shall be, um, Sylvia. Over the summer she got me some awesome Soybu pieces- including yoga pants, which I struggled with. They're tight, and clingy, but oh so soft. I love them, and I wear them a lot in my house! I have zero "brave" when it comes to clothes. You want me to raise money? Volunteer? Build a house? Sure, I've got that DOWN. But wear clothes anywhere outside of my comfort zone? Hell no. Panic attack city. At the end of the summer I found two maxi skirts and a dress on super clearance at Target, and they are my wardrobe. No joke, I realized that for every time I went to church, I wore that one dress. It's cute, don't get me wrong, but I do need to break my vicious cycle of Monday- black maxi skirt with solid top; Tuesday, dress; Wednesday grey maxi skirt with solid top; Thursday, old black dress with pills; Friday, black maxi skirt with solid top. Exciting, isn't it??? I did start to add some scarves, mainly to hide the little stains on the chest shelf on the solid tops!

Then I did this way cool event yesterday, and there was Michaela with her enchanting LulaRoe. I have several friends that sell LulaRoe, and I look at their pictures and love them, but this was my first time meeting the line in person. And did I meet it! I loved all the patterns, colors, styles- but was like "ohhh how cute for someone in shape and tiny". Then Michaela said the magic words- not, "oh, this might fight you", but "OH! Check these patterns out! They will look great on you!". I was so doubtful- until she pulled out her phone and showed me multiple pics of gorgeous women of all sizes rocking their LulaRoe. SOLD. I bought two pairs of leggings, and called it a day. Got home and tried them on- yup, they fit! But still, they are leggings. As in tight. Super duper soft, not at all transparent, real leggings. That would replace pants. Back the fact that they are leggings.

Monday morning arrives- the insanity starts late, of course, but I find a shirt that matches perfectly, and a black skirt to wear over them. Get the kids the school, get breakfast, you know, regular morning stuff. Arrive at work. Realize how uncomfortable I am with the skirt on too. AND TOOK IT OFF. As in, I took off my black skirt and went with my long tunic like top and JUST. FREAKING. LEGGINGS.

I wore them all day. I was comfortable, for perhaps the first time since the fall of 1995, in leggings (I remember the outfit- black leggings and a burgundy long sweater from the Gap. In Mr. Danze's AP European Histroy Class). For once, I didn't give a rat's tush what others thought I looked like. I felt AWESOME. I felt STRONG. I am not what most of society deems as beautiful, or fit. I look at this picture and see the bulges- and know that it's muscle in my thigh (there are plenty of jiggly bits elsewhere, don't worry!). I look in the mirror and see the bags under my eyes, the encroaching wrinkles, the limp hair. But today I realized something...

I am a strong ass woman raising two boys alone. I am teaching them to think of others, be kind, and appreciate what they have.  I teach students that don't fit into the mainstream school system that they are valued. I empower others.  I can support friends who are struggling. I can take care of my family. I am surrounded by an incredible support system. I am a feminist. I am a pacifist. I am a Unitarian Universalist. I can make mistakes and learn from them. Sometimes, I can even build those really hard Lego sets (with lots of cursing).  I can be absolutely ANYTHING I want to be (except maybe a marathoner, but hey, jury's out on that- it looks pretty torturous). 

And I can do it in leggings. 

ENOUGH.

ENOUGH. When do we, as a country, finally draw the line and decide to take a stand in the face of violence? When do our legislators finally decide that they can actually show some fortitude and gumption and DO SOMETHING? When are fellow Americans going to start contacting these Senators?  Even the New York Daily News gets it. A Missouri state rep nails it. I am sure that I am one of a million bloggers today thinking about the same thing. Guns don't kill people, people kill people. Well, duh. So let's not give more people guns. It seems so logical to me. The fact that when my newsfeed bleeped "Mass Shooting in San Bernardino" I didn't even flinch, hit it home. I am at the point where I expect this, because nothing has been done to prevent it. These headlines have become commonplace. They don't surprise me- they scare me. I read an article today on how to survive a workplace or school shooting, and I found myself taking note. I. TOOK. NOTES. I thought about how I could teach my students to run in a zig zag pattern without scaring them. I tried to figure out what my children, who are six and four, could understand and replicate. The fact that I spent a good ten minutes debating the most therapeutic way to say "if there are victims, lay in their blood and don't move" rocked me to my core. I refuse to have this conversation- as I am very much hopeful that change is around the corner. That love will conquer hate. That common sense will prevail. I won't lie though, I'm scared for what could come next. There WILL be a time when our country, whether Republican or Democrat, will realize that we have to stand together against violence, especially in regards to guns. Yes, a mentally ill person can wreak havoc in many ways- but last time I checked, it's a lot easier to kill with a semi-automatic than a knife. I could like the incidents that lead me to this evening, and these thoughts- but as a child of the 90's, I can just say Columbine. I did some searching and found this article. I don't know what is more frightening- that there have been so many deaths, or that I didn't even know about half of them.

I really thought that there would be a change after Sandy Hook. I was so very optimistic. For naught.